I found this blog post this morning, it was six weeks into Lockdown. I forgot I wrote it………I didn’t post it then, I don’t know why? But, I’m going to post it now. It might resonate with some people, I hope it does:
Some people may have noticed that I have not written a single blog post since lockdown started here in the UK. The simple answer as to why this is, is because the motivation has not been there. I remember seeing the Government announcement and then knowing this was a long road ahead, blinked and it’s been like six weeks.
My experience of this whole thing has been up and down, also feeling guilty really, we are in prison that is beautiful, we have life’s luxuries, food and the chance to go out and exercise once a day. If I were comparing this to world war two, the NHS staff would be the front line soldiers, the essential workers (supermarkets, food deliveries, essential services, farmers etc) would be the work force effort keeping the country afloat and the rest would be the evacuees, out of the line of fire, out of harm’s way, that would be me, I would fall into that category. Really, nothing to complain about. But everything is relative in this life, and I’ve noticed that this week, my own personal week six, that I’ve felt at my lowest and others have too, so, I’m going to sum up my experience below, it’s not a poem, I don’t even know what it is, but it sums it up, perhaps someone else can relate:
Morning, coffee, dog on lap, same routine……..best time of day
Quiet time…..yoga………..one…….two…….three……breath……list what I am grateful for……
Look out the window, I notice the weather more now
Spring in full bloom, we have been gifted good weather
Make breakfast, sort dog, unload dishwasher
Washing, sort, machine, line to dry
Coffee time husband, same chair, room, conference call, communicate via sign language, T for tea, C for Coffee…..its always C lately
Dish washer……..
“Mum…..mum……..mum………” one child, no playmates, I’m her all now, no time for being selfish
Painting, barbie, bat and ball……..washing
Food and dishwasher
And breath again……..
Social media, news, conspiracy theorist…….blood slightly boiling
Anxiety………and breath
Almost four, cooking time, music on, and relax
Husband downstairs, family time, golden time, best time
Night time……….another day tick
Morning, coffee, dog on lap…..
And breath……..
Wave to neighbours…….talk to neighbours………social interaction is a blessing…..
Breakfast, dish washer, “Mum……..mum………..”
Run today, free today, move out of the way, especially for older people……
Runners high then lunch……this is like a holiday…
Then crash……..feel tearful, grateful, lucky
Do some sketching…….
Can’t start the book I started……….
Food, dishwasher………cleaning……..the house looks like someone is squatting in it……
Rock painting, bike riding, dog walking, no school work……..absolutely no school work
Shit mum – look at everyone else? Look what they did today,
Today we stayed in our PJ.s………
Dishwasher, food, washing and breath………
One, two, three, four……..what am I grateful for?
Work…….someone wants a reading, or do a facebook live? Start a virtual meditation group…….never even done that before, turns out it works quite well…..
Dinner time, best time, family time, golden time……what about people on their own?
How blessed am I?
It’s nighttime,
Its morning time, its coffee and dog time,
I look out the window, I never knew I would be forced to be mindful……but I am………
So just breath, today I feel better, tomorrow might not,
I cried twice this week, once in the kitchen and then on the phone to mum…….still have mum, feeling grateful,
Dishwasher, food, silly dances with a happy eight year old, Minecraft live, sticky fingers and chicken nuggets,
Laughing at facebook posts, crying at others……
Dinner, husband, doesn’t talk, bad day, Covid-King that’s his name now, that’s what his job is now,
When the weekend comes it’s a saving grace, hot tub, fun and relaxed husband……..
What am I grateful for?
For life, love, friends and health……..will never take that for granted again……..
Dishwasher, food………and breath.
What am I grateful for?
Until next time,
Tanya
