I have read in the past that other mediums have put their total faith in their spirit team when going out on the platform. This is public speaking with no script. The trust required to do this is immeasurable….
On 2ndJune 2019 I will be going out on the platform for the very first time. The audience will be told that I am a fledgeling, but this doesn’t ease my nerves. There will be pressure, the pressure to deliver evidence of spirit survival to grieving people, the pressure to not let my fellow mediums down that have invited me to share the stage with them, the pressure to be good enough to perhaps one day be asked to go back…..
My friend and mediumship mentor, Emma, has kindly set up some practice nights for me and Jess, another friend and medium who will be taking her fledgeling night in May. Emma has arranged a series of evenings at her house where we can practice platform with strangers.
On the first of these nights, I turned up at Emma’s house realising that I hadn’t given that evening a moments thought all day. Now that I was here, the nerves began to kick in. If I am nervous now, what the hell am I going to be like on the 2nd of June?
Before I knew it, the four ladies had arrived and I was the first one up. God, my mind went blank and I struggled to form a link with the first spirit. I did eventually, but it was clunky. It was a man, he had a job to do with postal workers, he was very lonely and didn’t have the best end to his life. One of the ladies raised her hand. Even though I didn’t feel my evidence was amazing, the message he gave me was good though. He showed me a glass table, like a small coffee table. He was indicating that she should do something with that table like it had particular significance. She understood why and told me after that she had put some fresh flowers on the glass table that day, to remind her of her husband who had died a few years previously.
My second link took ages to make a connection with the group of ladies (who all knew each other). This lady died of cancer and knew them from work. They took her, after what felt like forever. Her message was for her daughter, to let her know she was okay…….
After feeling like I wanted to give up, that I was never going to be at the level I wanted to be at, I suddenly saw a young guy, leaning against a brick wall and kind of smirking at me. He was so casual, so laid back, his arms were folded and he had one leg up, bent against the wall.
I looked at the row of faces in front of me and stopped at the second lady from the right, she had black rimmed glasses on but I could see behind her eyes were the same as this young lads.
I focussed back on the young man, I could clearly see that he had what looked like acne on his face.
I took a big breath and addressed the group:
“I have a young lad here, I don’t think he made it past twenty. He is a real character, I can see that just from looking at him. Can anyone take a young guy?” I asked.
The lady with the glasses raised her hand. I smiled inside.
“He looks like you! Except, his skin, he has acne, sorry to say that!”
She nodded her head yes.
“He is giving me the name Adrian does that mean anything to you?”
She laughed out loud. “Yes!! This is my dad’s name, except hardly anyone knows. My dad hated the name Adrian so he changed it to Paul. I can’t believe he told you that!” she said.
I remarked again how much this young man looked like the lady.
“He must be your son?” I asked. “You are like twins!!” I said excitedly.
“No, he was my brother” she smiled at me and I understood the connection.
This young man was cheeky and so full of life. They were so alike, their mannerisms…….I told her some more things about him. I wanted to know how he died but he wouldn’t tell me, because it was too upsetting. This is a first, I thought.
Once I had said goodbye to him, the lady gave me some feedback.
She said that her brother died before his twenty-first birthday. He had an awful illness from birth, which caused terrible boils to appear all over this face. It was too sad, to upsetting to go into. She understood why he wouldn’t want too.
I was so grateful he came in (apparently he does a lot!).
I sighed some relief that night. That was the type of evidence I wanted….perhaps this is the right path after all.
Until next time,
At the beginning of February 2019, I finally took the plunge and decided, along with two friends to start the open mediumship development circle at the Arthur Findlay College at Stansted Hall.
I’ve written about the college before in previous blog posts, but to summarise, the college is purely for the study of psychic & mediumship development and attracts students from all over the world, including some of the most famous historic mediums to date.
Since 2015, I have attended local circles, the last one being a closed home circle. A home circle is a fantastic place to start learning your craft (so to speak!), a safe environment where you feel comfortable and it doesn’t matter if you make mistakes because it is understood that it’s a learning environment.
There is a lot I could talk about regarding the development of mediumship (mediumship being the ability to communicate with spirits), however for the point of this blog I will highlight the biggest and most challenging aspect of it for most mediums: the ability to differentiate between what you are thinking in your own conscious mind versus what spirit is sending you to translate to your sitter. Translate literally means to understand the images, feelings and words you are receiving during the communication.
Trusting in what you are getting from the spirit is pretty much the key to it all really, doubt is not your friend during your learning process.
When we left the home circle at the beginning of the year, what we were most afraid of is getting stuff wrong. To me, personally, it’s the responsibility that mediumship holds that weighs heavily on my shoulders. Not only because there are thousands of fraudsters out there who cold read people, not only because there are many highly sceptical individuals who would go out of their way to try and have you exposed for being one of those fraudsters (this is a job for some people, which is fantastic work to find the scammers but if you are a legitimate human being who can talk to dead people, they are also out to get you too), the biggest responsibility for me is that you are talking to someone who is grieving. If I get the message wrong, or not clear enough, or just too “general” then I am doing that person a disservice. If there is one thing I can’t stomach and that is doing a bad job of something I am supposed to be doing well. I have always said that if it turns out that I am an average medium with mediocre evidence, then that’s where it stays, I progress no longer. I’m only putting this effort in to develop if it means that I can give a sitter some of the best evidence they will ever receive from a medium. That is not an egotistical statement. It’s my ethical and moral standpoint on the subject. After over 3 years of development, I’m still at the early stages with this. Time hasn’t unfolded yet in terms of reaching the level I seek. But there will be a cut off period for me, I will know if and when I have reached it. (I would like to mention at this point that Psychic tarot readings are not the same as mediumship readings. I can read Psychic very well, which is what I do during tarot readings. I’ve also given some amazingly accurate mediumship evidence, but this is sporadic, but it’s those snippets of information that keep me going on my journey).
So all that said, earlier in 2019 it was our time to graduate from mediumship primary school and to move on to a big school, or Hogwarts as I like to call it! (After showing my little girl photographs of the gothic exterior of the college, she is pretty convinced I fly off on a broomstick every Thursday night to class!).
On the first night of class, we were all so nervous. I had seen photos of the college but had no idea how spectacular it looked in real life, in stunning grounds, huge iron doors, I felt like we were stepping back in time when we arrived.
My nerves notched up a level when I saw the circle was more like an oblong, there were loads of people attending, unlike the small intimate circles we were used too.
The lady who was taking this particular class was pretty incredible. What I mean by that is, she had an aura of energy around her that I was instantly attracted too, a kindness and healing feeling, she had an amazing way of telling you things that allowed you to understand the exact point she was trying to make. For example, on this class she wanted us to “feel” our way into connecting to the person sitting in front of us and then to allow the spirit to connect to that feeling, creating the link so we could start to deliver the evidence that the spirit was with us.
I was paired off with a lovely older gentleman, who told me he had been coming to circle for a couple of years. I think he could tell I was nervous and offered to go first, thank goodness! He connected to my grandad and gave me some lovely evidence, nothing mind-blowing (but who is judging?!) but it was a nice reading and I thanked him.
Now it was my turn. I remembered what the tutor had said about feeling the energy. With my mediumship, I find the hardest part is establishing the link. If I have a strong spirit who on Earth would have had big energy, that makes life a lot easier, but most people are not like that, so you really do have to try hard to connect on the link.
I looked at the chap sitting opposite me. What did I feel when I looked at him? Music notes, that’s what I felt, soft music all around him. He felt like music.
“I feel music all around you…” as soon as the words came out of my mouth I saw a little (quite short in fact) lady in my mind’s eye. She had a grandmotherly feel but also she would have mothered this man as he grew up. This lady was a force to be reckoned with, she may have been small but she was the head of the family for sure! The music connection was also to her, I could see scores and films and an orchestra. I feed this back and the man smiled. He told me that his grandmother had brought him up like a mother. She was small in stature but was the matriarch of the family. She was in a choir and would sing in different musical shows. There was some other personal stuff I fed back to him and all in all he was really chuffed with his reading.
All three of us had a fantastic night and realised with sincere thanks and gratitude that our old circle teacher had helped us so much over the last couple of years. Our evidence was very good, not just generic “grandad liked a drink down the pub” stuff, but some real facts about the people who had passed on.
It was my second night, the following week, at Hogwarts that really got my juices flowing! We had a fabulous speaker who was talking about being in the Power. What does this mean? I never really knew until that night. Basically, its when we sit and connect to our higher self, a deep feeling of meditation and sitting with ourselves, our guides, our spirit team, its where we connect back to the source of our living energy force.
Our tutor wanted us to connect to the sitter, on a soul level. This is deeper than reading someone psychically. If you read someone psychically, you can feel what they did that day (seriously you wouldn’t believe how many women are thinking about shoes!), or you pick up on some feelings like an argument may have happened, they feel red/fiery or sad and upset. The soul connection is different, this is about the person’s life journey, their hopes, fears, dreams…the core of who they are. You need permission to read someone’s soul.
I sat in front of a lovely lady called Helen, who proceeded, after my permission, to read my soul journey. I can hand down say it was one of the most accurate readings I have ever had. Helen was phenomenal. She knew I used my hands to heal, she could feel my ambitions and my dreams, that is truly unique to me.
When it was my turn I took a deep breath and trusted that I could do this. Once I was into Helen’s energy I just accepted the visions that came and allowed them to tell a story. I felt that Helen was also a healer but in a different sense, hers was mental, she healed through her knowledge and also through words, people listened to her and her advice. I also said some other personal things. After Helen told me that she is a counsellor/therapist, so talks to heal people and that the personal stuff I mentioned was so accurate, she was really pleased with what I picked up.
At this point, I was buzzing! It was time to sit in the circle again and our tutor wanted us to all meditate and get into the power, observing who we felt around us whilst we did it. She turned on the music and we all closed our eyes. We must have sat there for ten minutes or so when I finally started to relax, I felt my guide, Blue, standing behind me. Then I saw him looking at a vast landscape, with green mountains and a stunning deep blue sea. He sat down, literally on my lap so I could feel that my hands were no longer on my jeans, they were now on his blue robes. Blue has his namesake because of his blue eyes, his blue robe and the blue light that I have now started to see every so often, it flashes past my eyes or I can see it when I close my eyes. I don’t talk about this blue energy to anyone.
When it was time to come back to the room, our tutor went around each individual person to talk about their experience. To my utter amazement, she could identify who the person had with them during their own very personal meditation experience. When it was my turn, she told me I had a man standing behind me. “Yes, that’s my guide, he sat on top of me!” I said as the others laughed.
The tutor nodded then said “Yes, I saw him too, and his blue light energy. Blue all around you. It will be interesting to see where that blue energy is going to take you, Tanya”………..
Until next time,
Every once in a while during my spiritual journey, something big happens that I will never forget. These experiences are actually quite few and far between however, one of those very moments happened just last week, on 5thNovember, my 38thbirthday.
That night, I had a very vivid dream (to protect the identity of all those involved, I have changed the name below):
I was getting ready to meet someone and had dressed as if I was going for a job interview. I remember feeling nervous and was in a very large building, like in the City. I entered the foyer and approached the front desk, where a receptionist was waiting for me.
“Who am I here to meet?” I asked. “Nathan Davies” she replied and quickly scribbled the name on a post it note and held it up to me, I could clearly see the spelling of the name. “Nathan Davies” I repeated and turned to see a young man, around twenty or twenty-one who had his brown dog with him. I remember his eyes and fair wavy hair.
When I awoke, I kept repeating the name in my head “Nathan Davies”. I have connected with spirit via dreams in the past but never have I been given an accurate name before. I knew it was significant.
I asked my colleague if she knew anyone by that name and she confirmed she didn’t. I decided that perhaps it may be some message for me so I googled the name but came up with nothing really out of the ordinary. I then decided to pop the name into a Facebook search. Instantly I was drawn to a page called “Remembering Nathan Davies”.
When I clicked on the page and saw the photograph of the young man, exactly as I had in my dream, holding the dog on his lap, my mouth hit the floor. It was him, Nathan. I had a look at some of the posts on the page and I could work out that he must have died some years ago, however his mother was still badly grieving, she had only posted something on the page two days previously, detailing the agonising pain she was going through and still not being able to come to terms with her son’s loss. It was then that I realised what I had to do, Nathan had come to me for a reason, he wanted to get a reading to his mum, I felt compelled to connect with him again and provide her with a reading.
I have to stress, I would never ever normally conduct a reading for someone without their permission. This is ethically unacceptable. However, the extraordinary circumstances of this event in the way that Nathan connected to me, was telling me this case was different.
I looked on the mum’s facebook profile and could see she lived in Australia so knew that this would not be an easy task but I prayed that my reading would be received with the kind wishes intended, the last thing I wanted was for her or the family to think I was some fake psychic trying to pray on a grieving family.
I took the plunge and sat down to start my reading and recorded it on an App via my mobile phone.
After I had finished, I just wasn’t sure if there was enough evidence there and wondered what the hell I should do. But I told myself that I had to trust in this so I plucked up the courage and sent a message to Nathan’s mum via Facebook messenger.
After a day, I didn’t hear anything. I then figured that this lady may be older and not very computer savvy so I decided to try and find a sibling, which I did, on the remembrance page, a sister. I messaged her and prayed she would receive it.
A day or so later, the sister messaged me back. Initially a little bit cautious (completely understandable) she decided to receive the reading and I sent it across to her. I must admit, I felt sick at this point. My main worry was that they would think I was a charlatan but all I wanted to do was get Nathan’s love across to this mum. It turns out that I need not of worried, because Nathan’s sister kindly gave me some feedback, which I will detail below (bringing out the key pieces of evidence):
- I described Nathans personality in detail, how he was incredibly funny and the joker of the family (adapting his jokes to suit the family or friend member intended), but was also a gentle giant, would say what he felt in few words and sometimes sat back to observe things and take it all in.
Feedback: The description of his personality was correct
- Nathan’s dog was significant and I stressed that when he got him, he wanted him to be his dog only and not a “family dog” as such.
Feedback: Nathan went to a bird breeding auction and ended up getting a dog, before he asked the permission of his parents, he was 16 at the time.
- I could see that someone had moved out of the family home just before Nathan died.
Feedback: Nathan’s sister moved out 2 months before he passed.
- He clearly gave me the name Barry during the reading.
Feedback: Barry was Nathan’s tutor
- He told me that he died by something very rare and that all the elements had to be aligned for that one thing to happen, the chances of which were remote
Feedback: Nathan’s sister confirmed that her brother died of something very rare
- He was showing me a concert, or music venue, or the foyer of such like it held particular significance.
Feedback: This piece of evidence helped Nathan’s sister the most. The week that he died, they were meant to be going to a concert which would have been on the night he passed. They had decided earlier on in the week not to go.
- Part way thought the reading I started to cough and struggled to talk, I then was shown a company that is heavily invested where Nathan would have lived, however whatever this company does it is causing pollution and there are health worries around this including coughing.
Feedback: The smoke causing the illness has affected both Nathans parents.
- Nathan was showing me a book and he was handing it to his sister, he was making reference to the book like it was special and held significance for her only.
Feedback: Nathan paid for some of his sisters university text books.
- Nathan was showing me that he loved to walk in nature, especially lakes.
Feedback: The house that Nathan lived in with his family was 10 metres from the lake.
As you can read, I was so blown away by the feedback but mostly by the intelligence and power of spirits that are living another life from this one. It is clear to me that Nathan wants to help his mother and family, however, he can’t get the message across. So he is using any medium that will listen, it just so happens that I connect very well in my dream state to spirit, it also happens that I will always follow up a dream and a sign, which I did without fail and it lead me straight to Nathan’s family.
I don’t know if I will ever have anything happen like this again, but I hope that I do as in my opinion, it’s a fantastic way for a spirit to reach out to a loved one and another way for mediums to validate that life continues after we die.
Until next time,