The emphasis on this week’s blog post is all about going your own way, taking a path less traveled by others and one that is uniquely walked by you and you alone. What does that mean exactly? I want to give you an example of how that sentence reflects on me in my life right now and how it links onward into my own spiritual journey.
As my regular readers will know, I’ve had psychic ability since a child and many messages and experiences from the spirit world. When I reached my mid-thirties, I decided it was time to join a development circle in order for me to learn the language of spirit, the techniques, to hone a skill set that will allow me to properly connect to people that have passed on and ultimately provide fantastic evidence to those that are still here, having a human life.
My journey has been hard. I have had moments of what I will term as brilliance (my own judgment, I am not comparing my mediumship with anyone) where I have felt how someone died, given unusual names, seen strange skin conditions, given a poignant message that has changed the sitters views and belief on what happens after you die. I have also had moments of complete embarrassment. Where I have literally felt like I have made up a load of scenes and people in my mind and the sitter has looked at me like I am crazy. There are many times when I just want to give up. I’ve had nights sat in a circle, going home literally walking on air and others where I am so ready to throw the towel in.
I have internally shouted and screamed at my spirit team, my guides Blue and Silver, my maternal nan, who are all on my team and sometimes come in so strong and other times leave me hanging. Why can’t I see clearly? Why don’t’ I hear the spirit outside of my head like some mediums do? What do I need to do to make this clearer, because one thing is for sure, there is no way, no way, that I am going to sit down in front of a grieving parent and give them a reading from their deceased child that is less than perfect. I wouldn’t’ want to do that to them. It’s a responsibility of gigantic quantities and I have made it clear to spirit that this is all or nothing, no half measures. But the half measures keep coming and then they give me gold dust, just enough to keep me going that little bit longer.
I recently joined a new circle, focusing on platform mediumship (where you go to public demonstrations in front on an audience of sitters). After a brilliant first night, the second was very bad. As I was sitting there, after my turn had been and gone, I thought about my journey.
When I read tarot cards, I read well. The good readings are plenty, the average to bad ones, few. I thought about how I learned the tarot and to improve my physic skills. I started by myself. I learnt what the cards meant by reading it in a book. I practiced, I read, I researched. I had an invisible school of teachers surrounding me, my own private education. Spirit gave me the right people and contacts, ones that are so like me that we feel we may have been joined in another life too. Spirit took care of the journey, as long as I was there to listen, to go for it, to learn.
So why should mediumship be any different? It was sitting there last night and it dawned on me. I don’t need to sit in the circle. I am not saying it is the wrong thing, but for me at this time, it is not the right thing. And platform mediumship, that isn’t for me either. I need to be one to one. I need to be just me and my sitter, just us, no one else. I also need to trust that spirit will teach me the way now, now that I know the basics. I know my mediumship is unique to me, I can’t learn it from a textbook.
When I started Reiki, at the very beginning, I put my hands over the person and I put out the intent to heal. Then something started to happen. I started to see and feel things about that person. My spirit team was dropping it in, they were teaching me the art of psychic work, where there was no pressure to perform. This is my best classroom because I have never been good under pressure. I feel that this is what spirit wants for me again, no pressure, just private tuition from the best team out there, my guides, spirit family and higher self.
So decision made, I stepped out of the circle and I have decided to take a leap of faith and follow my own path on this. I know it’s the right one and I look forward to the journey ahead.
Until next time,
Tanya
