When my little girl was around three years old and would fall asleep at bedtime, on occasion, something strange would happen. It was like she was in a trance, her eyes slightly open, yet I could tell she was asleep.
I don’t know what prompted me to do it, but one time, as I watched her sleeping like this, in my mind I said “Ariane can you smile?”. To my utter amazement, a few seconds later, the ends of her lips turned up into a small smile.
Astonished, I asked another request in my mind, could she lift her right arm? I had to wait a little longer for this, probably around a minute, however as requested, she slowly, but very surely, lifted her right arm.
This was a regular experiment of mine which made me certain that whilst Ariane sleeps, she can pick up on my thoughts telepathically.
This shouldn’t be a surprise to me. Telepathy is how I communicate with spirit, after all. It is how we all communicate with each other once we pass on to the other side too (using a voice box via sound vibration is a very physical thing, on a purely fast energetic level, we don’t need to do it anymore).
As Ariane grew, I sort of forgot about the telepathy until very recently, we had to share a bed during our house relocation.
I have already posted about the strange ghostly encounters of staying back at my old home that I grew up in (you can read about it here). Something very odd happened with Ariane whilst she and I were both asleep in my old bedroom.
In my sleep, I became aware that I was dreaming (a lucid dream, which happens to me from time to time). In the dream, I saw a sentence in my mind, that read “the field is green”.
As soon as I saw the words in the dream, I heard Ariane mumble in her sleep “The field is green”.
I then started to “come too” but was still in a sleep state when I saw some more words “the sky is deep blue”, then, I heard Ariane shift around and slowly mumble “the sky is deep blue”.
By the third sentence, I had awoken fully and this time, I physically watched Ariane as she spoke the words that I had dreamt about in my head just seconds earlier. I must have lay there for what felt like ages trying to make sense of what had just happened.
When I told my husband, he had a solid and sound explanation that sometimes our brains play tricks on us as we sleep, so perhaps Ariane was saying the sentences, but I thought I had dreamt it first. I beg to differ, as it did not feel that way.
Another example of the above is that we have had these experiences during waking hours. I have lost count of how many times I have been thinking of someone / a story / something random that has had no correlation to any conversation we had beforehand, and Ariane has started talking about it as if she was in on my thoughts.
In my experience and opinion, telepathy is a real thing and with practice we can do it, sometimes it also happens by accident, the key is to be open to all possibilities!
Following on from last week’s blog (A ghost called Michael), I have more tales of the paranormal to write about. On the same week as my own strange encounters, I received a voice memo from a lovely friend and client who had experienced her own brush with a ghost in her place of work.
My friend works for a charity at a Methodist Church, and usually eats her lunch in the prayer room. On this particular day, my friend was in the toilet and saw her colleague who told her that she herself had put her lunch in the prayer room and as she walked out, she said she had seen a black ghostly figure that sort of whooshed past her toward the prayer room (the door was shut after she had been in there).
The day before this happened, my friend was in the prayer room alone when on two occasions she flinched to the left because she thought she saw a dark figure walk past the door. At the time, she didn’t think it was anything, however as soon as her friend mentioned what she had just witnessed, my friend realised they may have seen the same black figure. Interestingly, they both felt the figure was female.
A bit later, they were discussing it some more when my friend mentioned to her colleague that the ghost that she saw had a short black blob hairstyle. Her colleague, with a puzzled expression then replied, “I didn’t tell you earlier she had a black bob, that’s exactly what I saw”. They both got goosebumps as they realised, they had seen the same female figure.
I feel that they did indeed see a ghost in the prayer room. It is interesting how they both knew she had a black bob but only saw a black figure walk past. I feel this is because they could telepathically see the ghost. This is often how people see ghostly figures (with their third eye) but don’t realise it at the time and that explains why ghost are often seen as a “trick of the mind” by sceptics. What they are experiencing is a form of clairvoyance from a physical energetic apparition.
A quick word on the difference between ghosts and spirits. A ghost is like an energetic photograph that has been stamped in time. If a human being does exactly the same thing every day or has a very happy / sad traumatic response to something in their living life, it can leave a sort of energy print within our own dimension. This will explain why some people see the same ghost at the same time in the same place every year. The ghost is not actually there, but the energetic memory is.
A spirit on the other hand is a conscious being living on the other side of the veil from our earthly physical experience. A spirit can be communicated with via a medium, a ghost cannot. A spirit has found a way to penetrate our earthly dimension and therefore communication is possible. A spirit can move objects and physically manifest into insects and animals, temporarily (a little bit like shape shifting, think about the many examples of how a robin or butterfly has interacted with a grieving human).
I believe the reason why a spirit shows up more around a prayer room, church or cemetery is because the human beings that are in these places generally have a clear intent with an open mind to reach out to the “dead”. This is exactly how a medium works. They sit in a quiet space, with an open heart and mind with a clear intention to make communication. Because their third eye and crown chakra has been worked on to be “open”, messages begin to flood in.
People that are not mediums, still have an open mind and open heart and their vibrations are raised when they are in places of worship or where they are remembering or missing a loved one, hence why spirits will be able to reach their vibration in these places and show up (a spirit must lower their own energetic vibration and we must raise ours to meet in the middle).
I really enjoyed hearing about my friend’s experience in the pray room.
If you have ever had your own ghostly encounter, I would love to hear about, just message me at tanyashortenergyreader@gmail.com.
I have temporarily moved back home with my parents, the house I grew up in until I moved out aged 23.
In the past, I have written about the strange paranormal “going on’s” that happened to me in the house from the age of around eight to when I moved out. In a nutshell, a presence could be felt and heard by not just me, but the other family members, pictures would fly off the wall, objects would move around, and I witnessed a levitating cardboard box and a stapler being flung across the room once.
My mum has reported other things that have happened over the almost 20 years that I haven’t been living in the house. So I kind of knew that going back would be interesting…..
I didn’t have to wait long before paranormal activity would show itself. On the first night, as I tried to drift off to sleep, I felt the familiar tickle of invisible cobwebs on my face, the calling card to me that a spirit is near.
The next night, before I laid down to go to sleep, I placed my glasses next to my mobile phone and watch, before turning out the light (a normal routine that I do every single night). As I drifted off to sleep, again I felt the spirit presence around my face. This time I asked for more of a sign, if someone was in the room, could they make themselves known? Nothing happened and I fell asleep.
I woke up around twenty minutes later, needing to use the toilet. As I pulled the duvet from my body, I felt an object fling from my chest and hit the floor. When I felt around in the dark, my glasses were now laying on the carpet. They had been placed on my chest as I was sleeping……this freaked me out! I was sharing the bed with my eleven year old daughter, who was fast asleep beside me – I decided not to tell her as this would also scare her.
In the car the next day, out of the blue, my daughter said “Mum there is a ghost in the bedroom. I have seen him, a boy, he is called Michael”. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up……”where and how many times have you seen him?” I asked. “Three times, in the bedroom, the hallway and the bathroom” she answered.
This made sense, as the sounds I used to hear as a child came from my bedroom, the hall outside and the bathroom. I told her about the glasses then, and she didn’t seem too fazed by it, thankfully.
The next day I decided to ask my guide Blue who Michael was? As I shuffled the cards, the Page of Cups fell out onto the table. The page of cups is a sensitive child who is a natural empath, feeling emotions very strongly indeed.
I put the card back in the deck and shuffled some more, asking Blue why my daughter saw Michael so clearly yet I didn’t see? I pulled a card and placed it on the table. The page of cups stared back at me again. A child who is sensitive and a deep empath – my daughter. It looks as though he has found a friend in her, just like he did with me when I was her age, all those years ago.
Last night, as I placed my mobile phone in its charging cradle, I watched in amazement as it somehow by itself, moved Apps around on my homescreen. My daughter spotted it too and she stared at me wide eyed. Luckily, she still managed to fall asleep easily.
As I lay in the darkness and my daughter slept soundly beside me, I decided to ask Michael to let me know he was with us again.
I did not have to wait long, before I heard the familiar creaking of the floorboard outside my bedroom door, the sound I used to hear nightly as a child, when no one else is upstairs. It is almost like I could see someone leaning in their full weight on that floorboard and then the sound came into the room, it was a like an electrical sound, sparks that were flying off the mirror on the bedside table next to me.
I have a mixture of fear and intrigue when this type of thing happens.
I’m sure there will be more encounters to come of Michael and his mischievous ways…of course I will keep you posted.
Next week I’m excited to tell you about more ghostly encounters, this time from a friend and client – it really did give me goosebumps!! Keep a look out for next weeks blog for more info!
Until next time,
Tanya
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As it was international women’s day last week, I couldn’t help but feel inspired to write about my own journey of being a woman who is now forty (something!) and how I feel about the changes that I find myself going through.
When I was younger, I believed that as women we were all supposed to look the same and I would constantly compare my own body against other girls, mostly I would only see my (so called!) imperfections. This is probably a familiar story to most women.
Being a teenager in the 90s meant that the only look on trend was catwalk skinny. Looking back now, I cringe at my younger self eating a slice of ham on rivita during my college lunch break, not daring to eat anything else in case I put on weight. It’s a terrible pressure to have and I have to say that I feel the body confidence movement that has recently been promoted on social media, can only be a good thing in my opinion. I certainly do not want my almost eleven-year-old daughter to feel she needs to watch every morsel that goes into her mouth. I would much rather her focus on food for health.
It wasn’t until I grew up, I began to realise that there is no perfect body, only a healthy one and that is so much more important to me. After having my daughter at 31, my body changed completely (in my opinion for the better) and I had a real focus on good health, nutrition, and exercise.
During my 30s, I was diagnosed with stage four Endometriosis. Having this awful chronic, progressive disease made me realise how I must look after my body and health that I do have, because with Endo, it can take you down and become completely debilitating.
After two operations and the Mirena Coil, I now feel like a different person (even though I have lasting problems with my bowel but its a small price to pay compared to some poor sufferers). I am looking at my forties now as a new me to maybe grab back some of the energy that Endo stole from me in my mid to late thirties.
As women, the changes are never over. For me now and most of my friends, it is the peri-menopause years we are entering, and we know that this can last a very long time indeed.
But, bearing all that in mind, I have now finally reached a stage in my life that I am comfortable with how I look and feel. I do like to look after myself, I care about what I eat but saying that, I’ve cut down on a lot of the exercise I used to do. This did come as a surprise to me, but I feel it was the right choice.
I used to run long distance up to three times a week, do yoga daily, and high intensity workouts. After spending the best part of a year in physio for overuse of my feet, I’ve decided that walking my dog, doing housework and the school runs is enough exercise that my body needs. The crazy thing is, by changing this, I’ve lost weight and I don’t ache half as much as I used too!
Perhaps slowing it down is exactly what we need to do as we get older, don’t stop it completely, but take the pace down just a little so that we feel more in tune with our bodies.
I don’t see bodies as perfect anymore, I just see them as unique, the same as our personalities. Life is so much more interesting with different shades of beauty.
You cannot beat a woman who is confident in her own skin, no matter what she looks like, if her inner beauty shines through, to me she is flawless.
Until next time,
Tanya
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To continue on with our love theme for the month, this week I want to talk about two labels that get thrown around a lot in love tarot readings; Soul Mates and Twin Flames.
There are countless explanations on the internet as to what exactly these are and the differences between the two. But as always, I would much rather provide my own definition and how they contrast based on my spiritual knowledge of the subject.
Before we go into the differences, what needs to be addressed is how before we can truly love anyone else, we must focus on loving ourselves unconditionally. I believe that the only time we can find the right person for us, is when we begin to live authentically and to take ownership of ourselves in terms of our choices, behaviours, and values as a person.
I believe we pull in a soul mate and a twin flame depending on where we are within our own healing journey, and entirely what vibration we are sitting on.
Soul Mates
For me, a soul mate is a caretaker on our human journey (the caretaking works both ways). They are the ones that will show up to us in a way that makes us feel safe and secure, we know they have our back no matter what happens.
There would be an instant connection of being “at home” with this person as soon as we meet. We will like the same things, be on the same wavelength, so much so, we will certainly want to build a life with them.
There will be an unspoken chemistry that we were almost made for each other. That our souls belong to each other, because we get each other like no other person does.
There is a solid, safe structure to this mate like no other.
This doesn’t always mean that we will not run into problems though. I believe soul mates can drift apart (but normally always drift back again!). They are on an individual journey as well as one that includes each other. There will be a push and a pull because this is two difference souls that have been brought together for two different life experiences but who need to learn a lesson from each other.
Some would say it is a karmic connection of the meeting of two souls.
One person may need stability and their soul mate will provide it. The other may need love and total affection, and the other person will provide it. But – this may highlight some differences within each of them. They may need something the other one cannot give, but whatever happens, they just cannot live without each other.
Twin Flame
In my opinion, a twin flame is the same soul as us, but we have been split into two for two unique life experiences, and sometimes we collide during this lifetime. You will know if you have collided with your twin flame.
As opposed to a soul mate, who will have some subtle differences and ways of thinking from you (which in turn allows you to learn things from them) a twin flame will allow you to learn things about yourself because they will trigger you.
A twin flame is half of your soul. You will see yourself in this person. Like a mirror image. You will have the same outlook, likes, dislikes, emotional make-up, you may even look like them. They are so much like you that you feel almost an instant pull toward them which you cannot put into words.
They will not be as solid as a soul mate. They may let you down, or you let them down, you will clash yet compliment all at the same time.
I believe a twin flame begins with an insatiable lust and ends in a ball of flames. Because sooner or later, the twin flame will lead us to our shadow side. Unlike a soul mate, who is rock steady and predictable, a twin flame will throw you up into a complete whirlwind of possibilities and uncertainties.
A twin flame will turn the head of the person who is normally faithful and rock steady in their loyalty when it comes to their partner. It will be akin to being hit by a brick, from out of no-where, like suddenly you remember who you are after you had forgotten during this lifetime. Because after all, you are two halves of the same soul.
But this can be dangerous, especially if you have already found your soul mate. How conflicting could it be for someone to be presented with a soul mate and twin flame connection? I have seen this many times during my love and relationship readings.
Is it healthy to pursue such an insatiable hunger when it comes to your twin flame? Single or in a relationship? Only you can answer that, because this is your journey, not mine. I give this advise time and time again.
It is up to you to reach out, connect and join with whoever you feel gets you on a level like no one else does. Sadly that may mean turning your back on a soul mate or twin flame, for this human journey, but doesn’t mean that one day, in another life, another dimension, another universe….that you will finally join again.
Until next time,
Tanya
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Managing signs from the universe and our own personal anxiety/fears can be a bit of a balancing act. On a personal level, not only have I had some incredible signs, messages and gut feelings from the Universe which have no doubt helped and shaped my life, I have also suffered from chronic anxiety since a small child.
This can make life very tricky. Questions such as, “is this a sign from my higher self or am I catastrophizing here?” often come into my thought patterns.
More rationally minded experts might say that I should ignore my gut and go with facts, figures, and statistics. But it isn’t quite that easy shutting down the more intuitive side of you when not only do you have psychic and mediumistic ability, but you also work within it in a professional capacity.
It is my job to pick up on energy and then build a story around the information I receive, using my intuition. This is the opposite of what an anxious person should probably do. As building a story around unknown facts can be scary and harmful to their mental health.
I have found when reading for other people, because it is a purely objective exercise and I have no knowledge or deep emotional attachment to their situation, I can read very well and purely from intuition.
However, when I read for myself, it is almost always skewed with my own emotional bias and subjectivity.
It has taken me some years to arrive at the fact that if I trust in the universe unconditionally, then this is the very best way to help control my racing thoughts.
Sitting in the moment, accepting today for how it is, and saying a silent “thank you universe” is how I trust it.
I look at myself as split into two halves. The first half is the physical person that my family and friends know and love. My second half is my higher self, the one that is connected within the universe (and beyond!). This is the half that will always have my best interests at heart and will help guide me along my life path. When I am addressing the universe, I am addressing my second half.
So, I trust that my second, higher self has it all worked out for me. I trust that if, say, something is not working in my life (whether that be a person or situation or state of mind) then I ask my higher self to remove it from my vibration.
My human, anxious mind may tell me that something might not work out in the future and begin to try making me anxious about that eventuality happening today. However, when I feel these scary feelings coming in, I have now learnt to check in with my higher self.
I remember that I trust the universe so much that if something wasn’t working in line with my highest good, then I would have got the nudge by now. Worrying about it doesn’t mean it is happening NOW.
What are the nudges that you might get from the universe/your higher self that you should potentially be listening too? Here are a few I can think of;
You feel unhappy and don’t know why, there is no one reason (something is out of balance in one of your four pillars: emotional health / spiritual health / mental health / physical health)
A relationship ends beyond your control
You feel like you want to end a relationship
You want a new job / you get made redundant / you don’t get the job/promotion you went for
You keep having accidents or chronic bad health
You keep losing money
You do not feel motivated
You self-neglect with bad, unhealthy practices
Someone comes into your life again
Someone new comes into your life and shakes it
You decide to put in new boundaries
You decide to cut those off that are causing you harm
The list really is endless in terms of picking up on these subtle “signs” from your higher self. Repetition is also important to look out for, if the same message keeps coming in front of you, then your higher self is really trying to get it into you that something must change.
If your mind is on repeat telling you that something will go wrong, yet it is ok in the moment, then that is anxiety, not our higher self.
If on the other hand you have a deep, gut feeling that something is out of balance, live in the moment, take each day as it comes and if you then begin to see changes that happen around you, then you know you are trusting the universe and you are accepting you are just in the right place, just at the right time.
Last week I blogged about a small (unintentional) hex that I put on an unsuspecting useless man. Read here if you need a recap.
I promised I would tell you about what happened when I really did put a hex on someone, with full intention behind it. So here it is.
Just over a year ago I was in a minor car crash. It was absolutely thumping down with rain on a cold Tuesday morning, I was pulling out of a parking space with limited viewing capacity, and I hit an oncoming car. This accident was totally my fault. The speed the other car driver was going, in the rain, on a residential street with school kids everywhere, was not.
I got out of my vehicle to speak to the driver whose car had just smashed into mine (the sound was revolting!) and, as I tried to peer through my hoody under the torrential downpour that was in motion, apologised and yet at the same time questioned why they were driving that fast in these adverse weather conditions?
Sadly, the rest of the “conversation” is a blur, as all I heard from the tall blond female was a barrage of insults. She was practically screaming at me, jumping around from foot to foot like a boxer about to punch her opponent. The intuitive part of me felt like she enjoyed it a little bit too much…….luckily the heavy rain on my face hid my tears (although it was probably obvious, I couldn’t speak because she was cutting me down and wouldn’t let me). So much for female solidarity.
So, there I was being verbally attacked by the driver and it was awful. She was swearing, shouting, being a vile excuse of a human being and was one hundred percent on the defence. If anything spells guilty it is when someone tries to detract from the error of their ways.
Luckily the woman’s adult son was present and as he apologised to me with his eyes and gave me a thought of “I’m sorry she is always like this” (the power of being a mind reader, I could literally hear his thoughts), he put an arm around my shoulder, and human shielded me from her to proceed with taking care of the car insurance details (had he done this before?).
Once she had finally got in her car and driven off (lucky her, my car LIMPED the two-minute drive back home), a passer-by stopped me and said that my verbal abuser was known in the community for speeding. That one day she could really hurt even herself or someone else….
I was furious. I took full responsibility that I pulled out on her, but her speeding in the rain (that can never be proven) and the absolute nastiness that she threw at me, well it was uncalled for.
After I had got home, had a cup of tea, called my husband (crying), called the nicest insurance man I had ever spoken too (cried some more), I sat and thought about the woman.
Woe betide the one who crosses the witch…………….I was so angry.
Before I knew what I was doing, I was grabbling paraphernalia from the alter. Candles (of every colour), a burning bowl, a mirror, a pen and paper, a lighter, maybe some incense. I can’t remember, all I know is that there was a lot of stuff and before I knew it I had cast a circle and had written out my full intention on the paper.
Now, I must add at this point, I have never done anything like this before. I would also like to add that no female in my life had ever gotten in my face with such vulgarity that literally rendered me speechless. I wanted this woman to see the error of her ways.
I did not want to hurt her though. But I did want her to understand that if she carried on behaving that way, she is going to hurt herself or others.
So that was what I cast. My intention was that in every way that she belittled me that day, the fact she was speeding, her lack of regard for other parents and children (it was on the school run!) – all that bad, negative energy would turn back on her three-fold. I cast the spell, I burnt it, I blew the candles out and then….I forgot about it.
Until three months later. I received a message from a friend and there in black and white was a social media post from the speeding maniac, thanking the man that had helped her after her car crash that morning.
Sitting open mouthed I remembered my hex (and side noted that her insurance premiums must be HUGE from this point forward). This crash was a bad one. It sounded like a head on from both directions at speed. She was in the car, as was her son (again, poor chap). This time her car was smashed in and she required a 12 hour hospital stay. She / they were lucky to walk away.
Now here is the billion-dollar question. Did my hex cause the crash or did she? My answer to that is that she did. BUT I put A LOT of intention behind her finding out the hard way. I willed her to understand that she couldn’t carry on driving like an idiot. I truly believe that this final crash showed her that she was on thin ice.
So, I feel no guilt about this hex, yet, I would never do it again. Every intention is so much better charged with love, not hate.
So, before you cast the words, or throw the bad vibes someone’s way, maybe think about how powerful your energy is and it can shape things.
Until next time,
Tanya
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One aspect of tarot that I find most amazing is that it has been around for so long and never really died out, in fact, I would say the practice of this ancient artform is getting stronger and stronger by the year.
There are many myths and legends about where tarot first originated and when. Tarot has been primarily an artistic endeavour in the sense that the pictures and images that constitute the decks, particularly the major (or trump) cards, have been works of art created by artists.
As early as the beginning of the sixteenth century, there are confusing claims about the origins and history of the cards. It has been claimed that Tarot was a vehicle for the secret teachings of the ancient Egyptians. However, due to painstaking research by historians, it is widely accepted that the part of the deck known as the suits (or minor arcana), descended from North African origin. The major arcana was created by a wealthy Italian nobility somewhere between 1420 and 1440.
Tarot is essentially a hybrid of the fifty-two four-suited cards that were designed and used for gaming and gambling purposes. If you think about how the suits and numbering matches that of normal playing cards, you can understand this connection to game play.
As the card use spread across Europe from Italy, so did its use and it became associated with fortune-telling, the occult and magical lore of all kinds.
Today, there are thousands of card decks on the market and the use of the cards has seen a huge increase since social media allowed a platform for learning, reading, and sharing information on the tarot.
The two most established decks in use today derive from the Ryder-Waite tarot deck or Tarot of Marseille.
Rider-Waite (or Rider-Waite-Smith) is a widely popular deck and is illustrated by Pamela Colman Smith, based on the instructions of academic and mystic A.E.Waite, these cards were originally published in 1909.
The Tarot of Marseilles is a standard pattern of Italian-suited cards that was very popular in France in the 17th and 18th century.
So, the fact that tarot cards are still amazingly relevant in today’s day and age delights me because the original creators had no idea at the time that we would be living in a social digital age, yet the card meanings of each elemental suits are still so apt.
A good example of this is the suit of swords. This suit has always been about mental conflict, ideas, and logical clarity. When the Four of Swords was created, the basic meaning at that time was that a mental rest was needed. Now, when I see this card in a spread, it often means that but can also mean an office job with computers.
Or the Page of Swords traditional meaning is a quick witted young intellectual, in today’s meaning it is often either online dating or the signing of contracts.
To me, the tarot is eternal in its nature and incredibly adaptable, after all, human existence is made up from the four pillars of emotions, intellect, spiritual growth, and physicality.
Until next time,
Tanya
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This year, I have been doing a lot of inner work on myself. Perhaps it is because I am about to undertake a big life changing event, which is bringing up all sorts of emotions.
Many people who know me (or meet me for the first time) generally assume I am full of confidence and am up for risk taking, which is a half-truth. It is a case of having to force myself out of my comfort zone, I’ve been doing that most of my adult life.
As a parent, one of the strongest emotions is to protect your child, against absolutely anything and everything that may hurt them. This is a human instinct and will help to keep that child safe. The problems begin when a parent’s fear is irrational and there is a blurred line between what an actual real-life risk looks like, and what may be the parents own fear catastrophising a situation.
If you grow up with a parent who catastrophises and leans more to a negative way of thinking, you will be conditioned to have anxiety. This is not the parents fault, as they will be acting through love and doing the best they can in that situation. It can also have its advantages as it will make you super vigilent with a sensible head that keeps you out of danger with the clear understanding of consequences due to certain actions.
The key, like most things in life, is to find the balance and take “healthy’ risks and to not avoid situations by overthinking the risk.
If you have been overly protected as a child you may find it difficult to trust your own judgement in a given sitation.
I am sure there are a lot of people who are reading this that may relate to what I am saying. It does not mean that you were not loved properly, it just means that the fear cycle was not broken with you. So, it is your job to break it with the next generation.
In the past, I have had talking therapy for my anxiety. I had no idea how my anxiety had filtered into so many aspects of my everyday life. I have had to retrain my brain to turn every situation that takes me outside of my normal routine or comfort zone into something that isn’t about to hurt me or put me in danger (or atleast to have negative outcomes).
I’ve had to work very hard to do this with my daughter as the last thing I want is for her to have the burden of anxiety on her shoulders and for her to stop living life to its fullest.
Last week, at the grand age of forty-one, I rode on the back of a motorbike for the very first time. My daughter had even beaten me too it, at age eight my husband had her kitted out with safety gear and took her on some little trips.
The internal pain and worry of her doing that was agonising for me, I won’t lie, but I had to fight that fear to allow her this, she WANTED to do it, and that is massive, as sometimes she is fearful like me and it stops her in her tracks. So, I had to support that, and logically look at the risks and make an informed assessment of it.
Everything in life is a risk, EVERYTHING. A hot cup of coffee being given to you is a risk of it burning you, but we do not deem it a risk because it’s something pleasurable and we like it.
Getting on the back of a motorbike carries a lot more risk than having a cup of coffee. Yes, that risk can still be measured to a degree, taking into consideration the external road and weather conditions, skill and experience of the rider, protective gear worn and how sensible the rider is with speed and judgement. Certainly, you cannot account for other road drivers’ actions, but as my husband always says “If I have an accident on my bike, I can assure you it won’t be my fault” – this is because he is constantly accessing the risk with every turn, junction and decision he needs to make on that bike, assuming always that he cannot be seen by other drivers.
I used to believe that getting on the back of a motorbike would lead to certain death, until I broke it down just like I described in the paragraph above. Instead of saying an outright “no” – I dissected it rationally, like I have been doing with a lot of stuff in my life recently. This appears to be anxieties worst enemy, because the more you do it, the more you realise that most of your worries are in your head.
When I sat on the back of the bike for the first time, and he pushed off with the engine roaring in my ears, I felt immensely exposed. The feeling that I could slip off the back of it as he accelerated made me feel so vulnerable. Like it would be very easy to die.
I wanted to cry as he navigated along the streets towards the first main road. But I did not want to cry because I was terrified. I wanted to cry because I was finally letting go and trusting.
As we turned the corner onto the busy main road and as I leaned in, I understood that I wasn’t going to slip off that bike, i decided to trust in myself to hold on and I decided to release the fear altogether. This is a man I have known for twenty-two years, he has a racing licence and has a lot of experience with riding and driving many different types of vehicles. He always makes the right decision because he thinks it through. I had trusted him so many times with other mundane stuff in my life, now that I really needed too, I decided to totally do just that. To trust.
To relinquish all control and just “be” in the moment is one of the most liberating feelings I have ever had.
The simple fact is, we do not know when our final time here will come. But if we spend our whole life trying to avoid it, it will stop us living. And I am done with expecting the worst.
As we sped through the open countryside on that bike, I have never felt so alive. It was one of the best days of my life, and I will certainly do it again.
I feel my moto now is to take the risk after you have logically done the assessment, then go for it. Trust my gut always “the knowing” that is helping me make decisions has never let me down so far. But I won’t let the fear win, I’m choosing life now, and it feels bloody amazing!
Until next time,
Tanya
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I somehow missed the hype of the Lo Scarabeo new Tarot Of Oppositions tarot deck that was published in 2021. I had no idea that the deck even existed until last week when I saw a post about it on one of my tarot forums.
I gasped at the photograph of the cards – this was exactly what I had been looking for, without even realising it!
As a seasoned professional tarot reader, surprisingly, I do not read tarot reversals. On occasion they do come out during a reading, I do make a mental note that there is a message in that reversal and do feed it into my delivery however, I choose not to work with them as my readings tend to flow so well without them.
But – I have come to realise that without reversals, we are only seeing half of the story.
A 78-card deck of tarot cards will give you every aspect of life’s ups and downs on our mental, physical, emotional and spiritual journey in this lifetime. There are enough cards to show us negative and positive forces. But are these negative and positive forces coming from inside us or by outside influences? Are the court cards (people) we are seeing in our spread behaving in a good way or bad way? Having a reversal can give us a key indicator.
So, when I stumbled upon the Tarot Of Oppositions, I realised that I could now work with reversals in a symbolic and visual way that will really help with my learning process.
One thing is for certain, these cards pack a punch. Some cards are already very negative in nature, such like the 10 of Swords, which is showing us that there has been complete mental anguish and that a difficult ending has certainly happened. So, if we reverse this traditional meaning, how much further can we go with this negativity?
I thought long and hard about this and decided that I must allow my own interpretation of the opposite of this card to speak to me.
So, when the 10 of Swords is upright, I have decided it is telling me that a very mentally stressful time is happening now. If we flip it to the opposite, I feel it is telling me that the very mentally stressful time is now over, done and finished (as you can see in the photo, the man is now completely covered in a block of ice).
I feel there are some cards that cannot have a positive twist on them, however we look at them (even though we must remember that through pain comes hope, creation, and a possible rebirth). The 10 of Swords certainly falls into that category.
A card like the 8 of Swords, which upright means we are tied to our own internal fears and anxieties, can have a positive spin if we flip the card. If you see the photo, the person who was tied to the chair has now left the room, deciding to take control of the their mental fears and seek a brighter outlook.
The 4 of Swords, which upright meaning is to have a mental break away from stress and turmoil, shows us in the traditional sense that this break is welcomed, and even peaceful. But if we turn the card around, we can now see it’s a painful “rest” and is a difficult stage to go through.
I find the Hermit interesting as in the upright position it is full of self-reflection, wisdom and is comfortable with having “alone time” – it is clear this person does not feel lonely, they are seeking solitude because it is good for their soul.
However, the opposite is telling me that this Hermit is secretive, he/she has a darker energy, they don’t want enlightenment, they want to hide away, there is not hope here, just a feeling of being stuck and stagnation.
In my opinion, one of the most positive cards in the Tarot Deck is The Sun. I found it a challenge to flip the card and get anything negative from this, however, the imagery, as you can see, tells me a different story. The sun is shining yes, but is has a melancholy look on its face and the child has been starving and the sunflowers are drooping. This is telling me that a good outcome is here yes, however, it has been painstaking, it has not been easy to get to this sunshine and not all is what it seems.
The Tarot of Oppositions has real character and will take some time for me to get used to it, but I feel it will be worth the practice. If offers layers of depth, a mirror of exactly what is going on in someone’s life. It will show you the full picture, warts and all, if you are brave enough to investigate its magik.
Until next time,
Tanya
Thank you for reading my spiritual blog! I am an intuitive tarot reader and teacher based in the UK. I read for clients all over the world via Zoom or in person in my reading room in Essex. If you are interested in booking a reading with me, click here. I also teach tarot in person or via workshops. For more info, please click here.
I was recently chatting to a friend about how, if we keep our core strong (not only our stomach muscles but our actual “inner strength core”) when it comes to who we are as a person, then it doesn’t matter what is going on in our external world, our inner world should be able to remain calm and at peace.
I described our self-care practices like a tranquil island that can always stay consistent, calming, and safe, no matter what stormy weather is happening around it.
We should always be able to sit within our little island and retreat to it whenever we need to feel safe.
In my opinion, the most effective way to build this self-island of tranquillity is to start with a morning routine. This is the perfect time to practice some self-care.
Morning is my very favourite time of day. I am the archetypal morning lark and can honestly say that I do not need to hit snooze on my alarm, even on a day off work, as soon as my eyes are open, I can step out of bed quite freely to begin my day.
Early mornings for me are about delicious stillness. They are for me and me alone, especially in the silence when the others are still asleep. There are no expectations in the morning space, I can use it purely for my own practice of self-care indulgence.
If you need some inspiration for your own morning routine, I have given you an example of mine below and I can honestly say that if done consistently, it can be life changing.
Social Media
After rising at 5.30am, I now have a rule that I do not look at my phone for social media, messages, or emails for at least an hour on waking.
By doing this simple thing has reduced my racing thoughts which in the past has often led to an anxious mind during the day. If you find that your mind turns on at full speed ahead in the morning, perhaps try doing the same. Give yourself time to be in the moment and walk to a slower pace, which you should hopefully continue throughout the day.
Ayurveda Routine
If you are unfamiliar with Ayurveda, I would highly recommend that it is something you read up on to learn more. In a nutshell, ayurveda is one of the world’s oldest, holistic whole body healing systems which originated in India.
Ayurveda explains that we each fall into one of three different body-type constitutions, Vata, Pitta or Kapha. Once you understand what your dosha is, you can understand what the imbalances your body (more than likely) has. The core root of ayurvedic philosophy is that our digestion is absolutely key to sustaining a healthy and disease-free life.
The first thing I do in the morning is clean my teeth and scrap my tongue, which is common practice in Ayurvedic tradition. During our sleep time, toxins rise into your mouth (as the body heals) and layers on the tongue, this is called “Agni”. The point of tongue scrapping is to take the agni away to help eliminate toxins in the system.
Spiritual Practice
Once I am downstairs and I’ve made a cup of herbal tea, I take some time to journal, just a paragraph or two. It is a good way to start the day, with some intentions and journaling allows reflection time, especially on any dreams you may have had the night before. Dreams can be incredibly symbolic and helpful with messages for us from the subconscious.
Ten minutes of meditation follows which I have now come to really enjoy. I find sitting upright on a chair provides the best intention for meditation, and sometimes I am surprised how quickly the minutes fly by.
After my meditation I then pull out my yoga mat for around twenty-minutes of vinyasa flow. I’ve been following Adrienne from You Tube and thoroughly enjoy this practice, even on the days when I feel less motivated with low energy, by the end of my practice I feel grounded and ready to start my day.
Nourish
As I follow as much as an Ayurvedic practice as possible with my diet, my breakfast normally contains poached fruit with a different morning grain, currently its either Pearl Barley or Amaranth (an ancient nutty grain that makes a delicious morning porridge!). This is mixed with my seasonal spice mix for my dosha (like cinnamon, turmeric, nutmeg and cloves) and oat milk with some coconut milk for sweetness.
The benefits of a morning routine
Here are just a few of the benefits of incorporating a consistent morning routine into your schedule;
It will without doubt, increase your productivity.
You will have a sense of being in control and that you do have “time’. This will take away any stress that will undoubtably build if you rush out of bed with no structure to the morning.
Developing a healthy habit with one aspect of your life makes it easier to slip in new ones….
You will feel shaper, calmer and at ease. This will in turn improve your relationships, as stress from you may trigger stress from others around you and vice versa, you will be more equipped to handle other people’s stress.
All the above benefits have been working for me. There will be some days that I do not have the energy to carry out a full routine (for example I have been battling a flu bug recently, so I did not do the Yoga). But even just sitting, with a warm drink and a book is a wonderful way to start the day.
Treat the day like it’s going to be your friend, believe that time is always on your side (it is) and that there is no need to stress, fuss or rush. Just by doing this, you walk to the beat of your own drum, and you can handle the stuff that life likes to throw at us sometimes.
Until next time,
Tanya
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The reason why it is so easy to pick up on past experiences, feelings and memories during a tarot reading is because energy is never lost, it just changes form from the past to the present. That is why how we feel and act today really does shape our tomorrow.
Using the tarot, I can go back to a date, time or place and pick up exactly on what the person was feeling, what they were experiencing and how it helped to shape their following moments. Like an energetic photograph, the tarot allows us to see a snapshot of a situation, even if we thought it was long gone and dissolved into the Universe as if it didn’t happen.
By being able to delve into the past in such a way is a positive yet (in some cases) negative experience. Positive in that we can see the lessons learned and how much we have grown since it happened, but negative for some in that it means that situations that someone may have wanted to hide, can be brought right back to the surface again.
Once the thought has happened, the word has been spoken, the action has been done, an energetic fingerprint has been left. Obviously, not everyone can just go back in time, but if you have a set of tarot cards and are a proficient reader, you can go and look. How you interpret the results has a lot to do with how objective you are and your sitters’ current situation.
Is the past ours to go looking into? Not always, but as mentioned above, sometimes it is necessary to gain more insight into a current situation.
An example of that was a client who came to me after a divorce. They had been separated for many years; however my client did not have the closure she needed, there were still so many unanswered questions from her ex-husband that he was never willing to divulge to her.
She asked me specifics about their relationship, when they were together, namely if he had been unfaithful to her.
I could see the mistrust that had built in the relationship and on closer inspection, it certainly looked like he had lied by omission to his then wife. The energy I was able to feel and pick up on from the cards is that a physical affair had not actually taken place, but an emotional affair had.
Her ex-husband had never admitted his deeper feelings for this other woman, yet the tarot could accurately pick up on the feelings, types of messages and communications that did go on during that time. Looking back, it was those actions from the husband that ultimately set the wheels in motion for the energy of his marriage to begin to change.
After discovering this, my client felt a sense of relief and could somewhat close the door on it and move on.
Some might say that we were prying int the ex-husbands energy to find the answers that his ex-wife was seeking. However, when the emotional affair began, he was married to my client, therefore she had a vested interest in the situation and his energy was strongly connected to hers.
The reading was used to help heal my client so she could move forward, feeling empowered and like she finally knew her truth.
So using the power of tarot to go back in time is in fact, a rather good thing at times and is completely relevant to help move us forward towards healing and understanding.
Until next time,
Tanya
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It only occurred to me recently how anxiety issues and trust are so intrinsically linked. If you have issues with trust, then it may manifest into worrying and catastrophising about the future.
I was told by a therapist that trust issues stem from childhood, for example, if your survival felt threatened, if parenting was inconsistent (especially when it comes to emotions) or you learnt that adults around you do not trust others, then you are more likely to have issues with this as an adult. On some level, there is healing that needs to happen from your inner child to really conquer the lack of trust.
The problem with trust issues is that it blocks you from having any faith in yourself or those around you. Fundamentally, you need to have faith in yourself, your identity and your decision making ability before you can ever really trust anyone.
Anxiety is like a doubting disease of the mind; it continually creeps in to try and sabotage any form of potential happiness that has come your way.
As someone who suffers with anxiety, I wanted to share with you how I deal with managing it and mostly, trusting in myself that I can continue to manage it, for my life’s journey.
Quiet The Voice
Taking just ten minutes a day to sit in quiet contemplation or to listen to music, focussing on your breathing, is by far one of the best ways to calm a racing mind. You must believe in the process with this one, because the more you do it, the more you begin to feel better. The feeling is a subtle one, but it is there, gradually the fog will begin to lift.
By just sitting and being present in this moment, you are not racing ahead into thoughts of unknown outcomes. You are doing the best you can to cope and survive amid your struggles, and that is all you can ask yourself for.
Trust The Universe
This one is a biggie! To not trust an outcome of a situation, or the intentions of a person, or even the intentions of yourself, what can really help you with that feeling is to know that the Universe has your back. I feel this so deeply, simply because the Universe has never let me down. When I talk of the Universe, I am talking about my spirit guide/my higher self, as I believe they are all one of the same. But one thing is for certain, I have always received help when I have asked and I have never doubted that I am supported by an invisible force, as are you.
Take Yourself Away
Sometimes it might be impossible to remove the stress that is triggering your anxiety entirely, however what you can do is take yourself away to a place that helps you to be in the moment. This may be with friends who lift you up and make you laugh, or out in the countryside on a walk so you can connect back to nature. I have found that keeping myself busy in a creative way is an excellent way to reduce my anxiety. A mind that is distracted with other (positive) things, will reduce the airtime you will give to that little imp on your shoulder.
Talk
Talking therapy really does help to manage anxiety. Once you understand from a professional therapist how anxiety manifests, you can begin to see patterns that have formed in your own way of thinking. Thoughts can be obsessive, and these obsessions can be played out as compulsions in many ways to try to constantly seek reassurance. Talking therapy and practices like CBT allow you to have the self-awareness that you are being triggered and to stop yourself from seeking the reassurance. You then begin to understand how anxiety will try to move into different areas of your life, for example, health, relationships, chronic negativity……once you understand how it tries to take control of you, you can manage it in such a way that you can pull yourself back from being sucked in again.
There is one thing I am certain of, that is that those who battle mental health issues every day are the unsung heroes who keep pushing through, showing up and walking through their struggles. If you are one of these people, I want you to know you are not alone and that the work you are doing will pay off, for tomorrow is a new day.
Until next time,
Tanya
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Love tarot readings are probably the most popular life categories that I read about. As complicated as feelings can be, I do find love readings the most interesting!
A common theme I have come to notice with relationship problems are when a couple who have spent many years together, begin to flow in a different direction. In fact, more to the point, one stands still whilst the other one wants to continue taking new opportunities and growing within their life experiences.
In life, as a couple, we often have different values that we place on our relationship. Giving to service is one that normally takes precedence, the going to work, earning money, keeping house, feeding the family, raising the kids etc, it generally goes before acts of love and affection.
I have found that some people can be so habitual with their routine whilst being in the “in service” energy, that they lose a part of themselves in the process. Those heady days of lust and excitement are like a distant fleeting memory.
Personality types can play a huge part in how much work is put into a long-term relationship. Not everyone has that magic spark that keeps them excited every day. Life gets in the way, chores, responsibilities, and problems mount up and people become too exhausted to put any effort into the relationship anymore when it comes to romance and excitement.
But just because life gets in the way, does that make it fair that one person should just give up on putting in effort into the relationship? After all, life happens, it’s how we deal with it that is a different story.
The four of cups in our tarot pack details a bored person sitting under a tree, being offered a very enticing cup of something delicious but refusing to even acknowledge its exitance.
I see this card time and time again when someone has something that they are taking for granted. Namely a spouse that wants to live in the moment, have more fun, do more things, and is up for all of this, yet the person sitting under the tree cannot be bothered to reciprocate.
This is sad. And what do you do if this happens to you? If you have tried tirelessly to motivate your partner but they just will not budge or match your efforts?
I believe the first thing to do is assess exactly what you have done to make a difference in terms of trying to make things better. How can your own behaviour influence certain outcomes? Ask some questions about your partner. Are they depressed? Is this a temporary life circumstance that hopefully they can come out of soon? Or has this always been them….is it a cycle of behaviour that will not be broken?
If you find that you care a lot about this situation and it is making you unhappy, then you need to fix it. But, if your partner is unwilling then that is a very big message from the Universe. The only person who can make the change is you.
You either accept that this person will not change, and you must find your own path to happiness fulfilment. Does this mean ending a relationship? Yes, possibly it does. But that comes with its own navigation. I cannot tell you how many people I’ve read for that are entirely unhappy but have put their own barriers up to avoid ending the relationship, such as family ties or financial commitments. But in my opinion, these are not barriers, they are obstacles, which can be jumped over in time if you have the strength, motivation and will power to succeed.
Some people are very adept and shutting off the little voice inside them, telling them how unhappy they are. In fact, they can do that for a lifetime. But there are others who walk amongst us that do listen to that little voice.
They trust the voice and they reason with it. They say, ok, I acknowledge I am not happy in this relationship, so what must change? They then proceed to do whatever they can to make the change. This often means shaking their partner, making them see what is happening. If the partner has the emotional intelligence to grow with them, they begin to change too. But if they do not, it is time for something radical to happen.
I have seen the person that won’t ignore the voice rise from the ashes of despair and plan. They concentrate on themselves, their work, they raise their own vibration, so they are not part of their own problem anymore. They separate themselves in a way that they can see a way forward.
What generally follows is that because their vibration is raising, the partner who will not change sinks lower into their own vibration. Two different roads begin to build in front of them.
This is generally when a relationship ends, it has become inevitable in a way but only because one person would not stand to live a miserable life because their partner would not help to save it.
Life is about change and becoming exactly who we are supposed to be….sadly it means that not all will want to come along with us on the journey, but that is ok. If we trust in the Universe implicitly, it means we are exactly where we are supposed to be, and exactly who we are supposed to be with.
I have been born and breed in the same town my whole life. Moving away was something we always talked about doing, but never actually got around to properly “planning” to make it happen.
When I turned forty in lockdown, after spending six months pretty much confined to the house like most people, my husband and I realised that even though we love our home, we needed to make a change.
There was this unspoken feeling of restlessness, and we knew in our hearts that we wanted to move, but not just around the corner, we wanted to make a real change, not too far so we couldn’t still see friends and family, but far enough so we had a whole new place to explore.
Luckily we can both move our jobs with us, so we could be flexible on location. My daughter will be starting secondary school this year, so a perfect time to make the change.
We decided on Ely, a tiny Cathedral City in Cambridgeshire. We are not quite there yet (almost!) – hopefully we will have moved mid to late springtime this year.
The whole process of finding a house and selling ours has been going on since the summer of 2022, it has been incredibly stressful, and we haven’t even done the move yet.
When people say that moving house is in the top four most stressful things you can do in a lifetime, I understand why now. I have realised that it is not the physical moving part that is hard, it is the fear that comes with such a big, life changing decision.
I recently heard someone quote that if you are in limbo, just decide, even if you fear it is the wrong choice, just do SOMETHING to move yourself into a different place, which allows you more options and insight into your current situation.
There is something paradoxical about putting stress of yourself through a life choice that no one is forcing you to make. It is hard to explain that to people, because sometimes you don’t know the full reasons why you are making the decision, you just know you need to move forward somehow.
Even though I’m moving just over an hour away from my hometown, I did feel ripples of shock from some friends and family closest to me when I made the announcement. They couldn’t understand why this is something we want to do.
I have had to keep strong and focussed on the goal ahead, because other people’s doubt can seep into your own insecurities quite easily.
I have woken up countless times in the night with a lot of anxiety about the decision we have made, as once you have gone, it is hard to come back. But amongst all the fear and doubt is a deep knowing that to stay would be more terrifying then to make the leap.
Change is inevitably hard. It throws out your sense of safe routine and security, familiarity, and ease. You can only give it time and strength to see where it will take you.
Some people have looked at my decision through their own viewpoint and placed their own individual fear on my decision, forgetting that we are different people and therefore my challenges will not be what their challenge may be if they were in my shoes.
I have realised in my life that to stay still can feel very safe indeed. However, I understand that it is only temporary relief. If we just keep standing still, eventually the Earth will turn one revolution of the sun and bringing with it lots of changes that are out of our control anyway.
If we can’t handle the change within our control, how will we deal with the stuff that happens to us that we didn’t ask for?
To me, life is about ebbs and flows, good experiences, and negative ones. It is about learning, seeking, and growing.
So, in 2023 we are taking the leap, the challenge has already proven one of the hardest things I have had to face, and we haven’t even gone yet. But that little voice inside my head, that has never failed me in past life choices, has reassured me that all will be well.
Until next time,
Tanya
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