Author: Tanya

It only occurred to me recently how anxiety issues and trust are so intrinsically linked.  If you have issues with trust, then it may manifest into worrying and catastrophising about the future.  

I was told by a therapist that trust issues stem from childhood, for example, if your survival felt threatened, if parenting was inconsistent (especially when it comes to emotions) or you learnt that adults around you do not trust others, then you are more likely to have issues with this as an adult.  On some level, there is healing that needs to happen from your inner child to really conquer the lack of trust.

The problem with trust issues is that it blocks you from having any faith in yourself or those around you.  Fundamentally, you need to have faith in yourself, your identity and your decision making ability before you can ever really trust anyone. 

Anxiety is like a doubting disease of the mind; it continually creeps in to try and sabotage any form of potential happiness that has come your way.  

As someone who suffers with anxiety, I wanted to share with you how I deal with managing it and mostly, trusting in myself that I can continue to manage it, for my life’s journey.

Quiet The Voice

Taking just ten minutes a day to sit in quiet contemplation or to listen to music, focussing on your breathing, is by far one of the best ways to calm a racing mind.  You must believe in the process with this one, because the more you do it, the more you begin to feel better.  The feeling is a subtle one, but it is there, gradually the fog will begin to lift.

By just sitting and being present in this moment, you are not racing ahead into thoughts of unknown outcomes.  You are doing the best you can to cope and survive amid your struggles, and that is all you can ask yourself for.

Trust The Universe 

This one is a biggie!  To not trust an outcome of a situation, or the intentions of a person, or even the intentions of yourself, what can really help you with that feeling is to know that the Universe has your back.  I feel this so deeply, simply because the Universe has never let me down.  When I talk of the Universe, I am talking about my spirit guide/my higher self, as I believe they are all one of the same.  But one thing is for certain, I have always received help when I have asked and I have never doubted that I am supported by an invisible force, as are you.

Take Yourself Away

Sometimes it might be impossible to remove the stress that is triggering your anxiety entirely, however what you can do is take yourself away to a place that helps you to be in the moment.  This may be with friends who lift you up and make you laugh, or out in the countryside on a walk so you can connect back to nature.  I have found that keeping myself busy in a creative way is an excellent way to reduce my anxiety.  A mind that is distracted with other (positive) things, will reduce the airtime you will give to that little imp on your shoulder.

Talk 

Talking therapy really does help to manage anxiety.  Once you understand from a professional therapist how anxiety manifests, you can begin to see patterns that have formed in your own way of thinking.  Thoughts can be obsessive, and these obsessions can be played out as compulsions in many ways to try to constantly seek reassurance.  Talking therapy and practices like CBT allow you to have the self-awareness that you are being triggered and to stop yourself from seeking the reassurance.  You then begin to understand how anxiety will try to move into different areas of your life, for example, health, relationships, chronic negativity……once you understand how it tries to take control of you, you can manage it in such a way that you can pull yourself back from being sucked in again.

There is one thing I am certain of, that is that those who battle mental health issues every day are the unsung heroes who keep pushing through, showing up and walking through their struggles.  If you are one of these people, I want you to know you are not alone and that the work you are doing will pay off, for tomorrow is a new day.

Until next time,

Tanya 

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To continue on with our love theme for the month, this week I want to talk about two labels that get thrown around a lot in love tarot readings; Soul Mates and Twin Flames.

There are countless explanations on the internet as to what exactly these are and the differences between the two.  But as always, I would much rather provide my own definition and how they contrast based on my spiritual knowledge of the subject.

Before we go into the differences, what needs to be addressed is how before we can truly love anyone else, we must focus on loving ourselves unconditionally.  I believe that the only time we can find the right person for us, is when we begin to live authentically and to take ownership of ourselves in terms of our choices, behaviours, and values as a person.

I believe we pull in a soul mate and a twin flame depending on where we are within our own healing journey, and entirely what vibration we are sitting on.

Soul Mates

For me, a soul mate is a caretaker on our human journey (the caretaking works both ways).  They are the ones that will show up to us in a way that makes us feel safe and secure, we know they have our back no matter what happens.  

There would be an instant connection of being “at home” with this person as soon as we meet.  We will like the same things, be on the same wavelength, so much so, we will certainly want to build a life with them.

There will be an unspoken chemistry that we were almost made for each other.  That our souls belong to each other, because we get each other like no other person does.

There is a solid, safe structure to this mate like no other.

This doesn’t always mean that we will not run into problems though.  I believe soul mates can drift apart (but normally always drift back again!).  They are on an individual journey as well as one that includes each other.  There will be a push and a pull because this is two difference souls that have been brought together for two different life experiences but who need to learn a lesson from each other.

Some would say it is a karmic connection of the meeting of two souls.

One person may need stability and their soul mate will provide it.  The other may need love and total affection, and the other person will provide it.  But – this may highlight some differences within each of them.  They may need something the other one cannot give, but whatever happens, they just cannot live without each other.

Twin Flame

In my opinion, a twin flame is the same soul as us, but we have been split into two for two unique life experiences, and sometimes we collide during this lifetime.  You will know if you have collided with your twin flame.

As opposed to a soul mate, who will have some subtle differences and ways of thinking from you (which in turn allows you to learn things from them) a twin flame will allow you to learn things about yourself because they will trigger you.

A twin flame is half of your soul.  You will see yourself in this person.  Like a mirror image.  You will have the same outlook, likes, dislikes, emotional make-up, you may even look like them.  They are so much like you that you feel almost an instant pull toward them which you cannot put into words.

They will not be as solid as a soul mate. They may let you down, or you let them down, you will clash yet compliment all at the same time.

I believe a twin flame begins with an insatiable lust and ends in a ball of flames.  Because sooner or later, the twin flame will lead us to our shadow side.  Unlike a soul mate, who is rock steady and predictable, a twin flame will throw you up into a complete whirlwind of possibilities and uncertainties.  

A twin flame will turn the head of the person who is normally faithful and rock steady in their loyalty when it comes to their partner.  It will be akin to being hit by a brick, from out of no-where, like suddenly you remember who you are after you had forgotten during this lifetime.  Because after all, you are two halves of the same soul.

But this can be dangerous, especially if you have already found your soul mate.  How conflicting could it be for someone to be presented with a soul mate and twin flame connection?  I have seen this many times during my love and relationship readings.

Is it healthy to pursue such an insatiable hunger when it comes to your twin flame?  Single or in a relationship?  Only you can answer that, because this is your journey, not mine.  I give this advise time and time again.

It is up to you to reach out, connect and join with whoever you feel gets you on a level like no one else does.  Sadly that may mean turning your back on a soul mate or twin flame, for this human journey, but doesn’t mean that one day, in another life, another dimension, another universe….that you will finally join again.

Until next time,

Tanya 

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I have been born and breed in the same town my whole life.  Moving away was something we always talked about doing, but never actually got around to properly “planning” to make it happen.

When I turned forty in lockdown, after spending six months pretty much confined to the house like most people, my husband and I realised that even though we love our home, we needed to make a change.

 There was this unspoken feeling of restlessness, and we knew in our hearts that we wanted to move, but not just around the corner, we wanted to make a real change, not too far so we couldn’t still see friends and family, but far enough so we had a whole new place to explore.

Luckily we can both move our jobs with us, so we could be flexible on location.  My daughter will be starting secondary school this year, so a perfect time to make the change.  

We decided on Ely, a tiny Cathedral City in Cambridgeshire.  We are not quite there yet (almost!) – hopefully we will have moved mid to late springtime this year.

The whole process of finding a house and selling ours has been going on since the summer of 2022, it has been incredibly stressful, and we haven’t even done the move yet.

When people say that moving house is in the top four most stressful things you can do in a lifetime, I understand why now.  I have realised that it is not the physical moving part that is hard, it is the fear that comes with such a big, life changing decision.

I recently heard someone quote that if you are in limbo, just decide, even if you fear it is the wrong choice, just do SOMETHING to move yourself into a different place, which allows you more options and insight into your current situation.

There is something paradoxical about putting stress of yourself through a life choice that no one is forcing you to make.  It is hard to explain that to people, because sometimes you don’t know the full reasons why you are making the decision, you just know you need to move forward somehow.

Even though I’m moving just over an hour away from my hometown, I did feel ripples of shock from some friends and family closest to me when I made the announcement.  They couldn’t understand why this is something we want to do.

I have had to keep strong and focussed on the goal ahead, because other people’s doubt can seep into your own insecurities quite easily.

I have woken up countless times in the night with a lot of anxiety about the decision we have made, as once you have gone, it is hard to come back.  But amongst all the fear and doubt is a deep knowing that to stay would be more terrifying then to make the leap.

Change is inevitably hard.  It throws out your sense of safe routine and security, familiarity, and ease.  You can only give it time and strength to see where it will take you.

Some people have looked at my decision through their own viewpoint and placed their own individual fear on my decision, forgetting that we are different people and therefore my challenges will not be what their challenge may be if they were in my shoes.

I have realised in my life that to stay still can feel very safe indeed. However, I understand that it is only temporary relief.  If we just keep standing still, eventually the Earth will turn one revolution of the sun and bringing with it lots of changes that are out of our control anyway.

If we can’t handle the change within our control, how will we deal with the stuff that happens to us that we didn’t ask for?

To me, life is about ebbs and flows, good experiences, and negative ones.  It is about learning, seeking, and growing. 

So, in 2023 we are taking the leap, the challenge has already proven one of the hardest things I have had to face, and we haven’t even gone yet.  But that little voice inside my head, that has never failed me in past life choices, has reassured me that all will be well.

Until next time,

Tanya 

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Managing signs from the universe and our own personal anxiety/fears can be a bit of a balancing act.  On a personal level, not only have I had some incredible signs, messages and gut feelings from the Universe which have no doubt helped and shaped my life, I have also suffered from chronic anxiety since a small child.

This can make life very tricky.  Questions such as, “is this a sign from my higher self or am I catastrophizing here?” often come into my thought patterns.  

More rationally minded experts might say that I should ignore my gut and go with facts, figures, and statistics.  But it isn’t quite that easy shutting down the more intuitive side of you when not only do you have psychic and mediumistic ability, but you also work within it in a professional capacity.

It is my job to pick up on energy and then build a story around the information I receive, using my intuition.  This is the opposite of what an anxious person should probably do.  As building a story around unknown facts can be scary and harmful to their mental health.   

I have found when reading for other people, because it is a purely objective exercise and I have no knowledge or deep emotional attachment to their situation, I can read very well and purely from intuition. 

However, when I read for myself, it is almost always skewed with my own emotional bias and subjectivity.

It has taken me some years to arrive at the fact that if I trust in the universe unconditionally, then this is the very best way to help control my racing thoughts.

Sitting in the moment, accepting today for how it is, and saying a silent “thank you universe” is how I trust it.  

I look at myself as split into two halves.  The first half is the physical person that my family and friends know and love.  My second half is my higher self, the one that is connected within the universe (and beyond!).  This is the half that will always have my best interests at heart and will help guide me along my life path.  When I am addressing the universe, I am addressing my second half.

So, I trust that my second, higher self has it all worked out for me.  I trust that if, say, something is not working in my life (whether that be a person or situation or state of mind) then I ask my higher self to remove it from my vibration.

My human, anxious mind may tell me that something might not work out in the future and begin to try making me anxious about that eventuality happening today.  However, when I feel these scary feelings coming in, I have now learnt to check in with my higher self.

I remember that I trust the universe so much that if something wasn’t working in line with my highest good, then I would have got the nudge by now.  Worrying about it doesn’t mean it is happening NOW.

What are the nudges that you might get from the universe/your higher self that you should potentially be listening too?  Here are a few I can think of;

• You feel unhappy and don’t know why, there is no one reason (something is out of balance in one of your four pillars: emotional health / spiritual health / mental health / physical health)
• A relationship ends beyond your control 
• You feel like you want to end a relationship
• You want a new job / you get made redundant / you don’t get the job/promotion you went for 
• You keep having accidents or chronic bad health 
• You keep losing money 
• You do not feel motivated 
• You self-neglect with bad, unhealthy practices 
• Someone comes into your life again 
• Someone new comes into your life and shakes it 
• You decide to put in new boundaries 
• You decide to cut those off that are causing you harm

The list really is endless in terms of picking up on these subtle “signs” from your higher self.  Repetition is also important to look out for, if the same message keeps coming in front of you, then your higher self is really trying to get it into you that something must change.

If your mind is on repeat telling you that something will go wrong, yet it is ok in the moment, then that is anxiety, not our higher self.

If on the other hand you have a deep, gut feeling that something is out of balance, live in the moment, take each day as it comes and if you then begin to see changes that happen around you, then you know you are trusting the universe and you are accepting you are just in the right place, just at the right time.

Until next time

Tanya 

The Power Of The Hex….Part 2

Last week I blogged about a small (unintentional) hex that I put on an unsuspecting useless man.  Read here if you need a recap.

I promised I would tell you about what happened when I really did put a hex on someone, with full intention behind it.  So here it is.

Just over a year ago I was in a minor car crash.  It was absolutely thumping down with rain on a cold Tuesday morning, I was pulling out of a parking space with limited viewing capacity, and I hit an oncoming car.  This accident was totally my fault.  The speed the other car driver was going, in the rain, on a residential street with school kids everywhere, was not.

I got out of my vehicle to speak to the driver whose car had just smashed into mine (the sound was revolting!) and, as I tried to peer through my hoody under the torrential downpour that was in motion, apologised and yet at the same time questioned why they were driving that fast in these adverse weather conditions? 

Sadly, the rest of the “conversation” is a blur, as all I heard from the tall blond female was a barrage of insults.  She was practically screaming at me, jumping around from foot to foot like a boxer about to punch her opponent.  The intuitive part of me felt like she enjoyed it a little bit too much…….luckily the heavy rain on my face hid my tears (although it was probably obvious, I couldn’t speak because she was cutting me down and wouldn’t let me).  So much for female solidarity.  

So, there I was being verbally attacked by the driver and it was awful.  She was swearing, shouting, being a vile excuse of a human being and was one hundred percent on the defence.  If anything spells guilty it is when someone tries to detract from the error of their ways.

Luckily the woman’s adult son was present and as he apologised to me with his eyes and gave me a thought of “I’m sorry she is always like this” (the power of being a mind reader, I could literally hear his thoughts), he put an arm around my shoulder, and human shielded me from her to proceed with taking care of the car insurance details (had he done this before?).

Once she had finally got in her car and driven off (lucky her, my car LIMPED the two-minute drive back home), a passer-by stopped me and said that my verbal abuser was known in the community for speeding.  That one day she could really hurt even herself or someone else….

I was furious.  I took full responsibility that I pulled out on her, but her speeding in the rain (that can never be proven) and the absolute nastiness that she threw at me, well it was uncalled for.

After I had got home, had a cup of tea, called my husband (crying), called the nicest insurance man I had ever spoken too (cried some more), I sat and thought about the woman.

Woe betide the one who crosses the witch…………….I was so angry.

Before I knew what I was doing, I was grabbling paraphernalia from the alter.  Candles (of every colour), a burning bowl, a mirror, a pen and paper, a lighter, maybe some incense.  I can’t remember, all I know is that there was a lot of stuff and before I knew it I had cast a circle and had written out my full intention on the paper.

Now, I must add at this point, I have never done anything like this before.  I would also like to add that no female in my life had ever gotten in my face with such vulgarity that literally rendered me speechless.  I wanted this woman to see the error of her ways.

I did not want to hurt her though.  But I did want her to understand that if she carried on behaving that way, she is going to hurt herself or others.

So that was what I cast.  My intention was that in every way that she belittled me that day, the fact she was speeding, her lack of regard for other parents and children (it was on the school run!) – all that bad, negative energy would turn back on her three-fold.  I cast the spell, I burnt it, I blew the candles out and then….I forgot about it.

Until three months later.  I received a message from a friend and there in black and white was a social media post from the speeding maniac, thanking the man that had helped her after her car crash that morning.

Sitting open mouthed I remembered my hex (and side noted that her insurance premiums must be HUGE from this point forward).  This crash was a bad one.  It sounded like a head on from both directions at speed.  She was in the car, as was her son (again, poor chap).  This time her car was smashed in and she required a 12 hour hospital stay.  She / they were lucky to walk away.  

Now here is the billion-dollar question.  Did my hex cause the crash or did she?  My answer to that is that she did.  BUT I put A LOT of intention behind her finding out the hard way.  I willed her to understand that she couldn’t carry on driving like an idiot.  I truly believe that this final crash showed her that she was on thin ice.

So, I feel no guilt about this hex, yet, I would never do it again.  Every intention is so much better charged with love, not hate.

So, before you cast the words, or throw the bad vibes someone’s way, maybe think about how powerful your energy is and it can shape things.

Until next time,

Tanya

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There is a belief in the witchy world that a hex is put on a person who has wronged them.  It is the “may the energy that one gives off come back to them three times” type of vibe. 

For a hex, you see, is nothing more than pure intention that has A LOT of negative energy behind it, in the form of anger, frustration and at times, rage.

As someone who doesn’t throw hexes around very often (only if I see a speeding car outside the school crossing, I promise!), I must admit to two occasions where I have used a hex.  One without realising it, and the other with full intention behind it, because I was more than a little peeved.

Let me tell you about the first one, the one that I didn’t realise I did until last month.

The annoyance came one December about six years ago when we had some winter snow.

I was driving back to my house after staying at my parents’ home for the night.  On my journey, the snow dropped rapidly and as I approached a particularly tricky corner a few streets down the hill from where I live, my car decided to get itself stuck.

Try as I might, I could not move my big old car up the snowy, icy hill, it just kept skidding round from the back and making enough noise to get some of the neighbours to come out and look.

One of those neighbours was a sweet old lady who tried to help me but was as useful as I was, not great to be honest.  I needed someone strong to push the back whilst I put my foot on the gas.

Getting myself a little stressed as I knew that soon there would be more cars on this road, I felt flustered and even more angered because a man had come out to watch me on his doorstep.

As he slowly lit his cigarette, he inhaled deeply drawing on the fag and watching in what I only felt was smug amusement at an elderly woman and a younger one trying in vain to move a vehicle in the middle of a snowstorm.

I rather loudly yet passively aggressively made a comment about “if this was my husband on the doorstep he certainly would be offering to help right now!” as I speed dialled said husband to please come and rescue me with some tyre snow socks and a shovel.

Ten minutes later, there was husband, helping me like the gent he is, and lazy man still enjoying the show from the comfort of his threshold.

As I slowly ascended the hill, now with some traction from the snow socks, I muttered under my breath “I hope you get the same treatment one day, Mr “I’m going to stand and smirk and not help” horrible little man!!”.  

That was it, that’s all I said,  and left it at that.

This December just gone, we had epic snow in the UK, it was Canada level fantastic, dry and snowman buildable and it lasted a whole entire WEEK.  Thus, causing chaos to pretty much everyone, except for me, as I didn’t have to drive anywhere this time.

On our walk home from school during snow week, my daughter and I went past the house that belonged to Mr “I like to stare at others whilst in their hour of need” man.

And, like some weird yet beautiful coincidence, there he was, in his car, approaching his house, tentatively on the same bit of road I was on a few years back.  He was attempting to park.  He was failing.  

As it dawned on me that we were having a complete role reversal, me outside looking at him trying to navigate his car, my little girl let out a “oh” as his car started back spinning all over the place.

Try as he might, his car was a like a turned over tortoise trying to get up the slanted road and failing miserably.  He was losing control and the skids were getting worse, he was making a real pig’s ear of it.

As our eyes met, I did a chuckle (he saw me) and I sang “I see you rolling….” As we joyfully walked on by, listening to his car skids and strained exhaust sounds getting quieter in the distance.

It was only then that I realised my unintentional hex may have worked.  If this was an isolated incident, I would have said it was just a synchronicity.

But it wasn’t.  As mentioned at the start of this blog, I had an even bigger and quite frankly, more serious experience with a hex.

I will save that one for next week…….!

Until next time,

Tanya 

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I recently read a fantastic analogy of how we are all linked together energetically. 

Imagine a spider’s web.  You are at the centre; you are the spider.  The web you bounce on is the energy web.  Every strand is linked to another strand, in turn linking to smaller or larger strands that reach out as far as the eye can see.  Some might say these strands are never ending.

Every time you create a spark of energy (be it a thought, decision, movement, word, or something else) the spiders web vibrates just a little bit, sending a tremor along and pulsating to the nearest strands, getting stronger or weaker depending on the direction that it flows.

If you do something big, the ripples are wide and far reaching.  If you do something small, they are not quite as visible, yet they are there, nonetheless.  

And like a web, whatever you “send out” when you vibrate on the web, comes right back to you in the centre.  Every single tremor is felt and accounted for.  

If there is someone that you have connected with, any type of relationship in your life, that person sits on your web somewhere.  Your friends and family members are closest to you and the acquaintances and distant friends, or family are further along the web.  But still joined to you, as they once touched your energy.

Every time you think about someone, you create a charge in your own personal energy system that begins to vibrate your web.  If you love or like that person, the web vibrates at a higher rate and quickly shoots a signal along the web thread to the person you are thinking about.  In some context, they will pick up on this signal from you.  The likely hood is they will think of you too (if you are very close).

If you are not too close, a signal will still vibrate out to the person in question.  They may notice their web tingling, but will not know why, or who, it is from.  The more you think about this person, the more your web vibrates to them.  They will then vibrate along with it and at some point in time you will bump into this person, believe me and trust that this is the case.

Obviously if you have never met the person (like a famous film star) the chances of your web reaching their web is very slim indeed however, anything on your web that connects that person to you, such as fan clubs, or merchandise opportunities, will be vibrating along with you.  So, you will inevitable drawer in “things” connected to the person along your web.

This is exactly how law of attraction works.  Imagine all the things you want to manifest sit somewhere on your web. Once you start to vibrate on their strand, at some point, you are going to drawer them to you.

This also counts for the things, or people, that you do not want in your life anymore.  If you keep on pinging the web strand, you are just going to be knocking on their energy door again and again.

How do you disconnect from them?  You must try to reduce the vibrational tremors along your web to theirs (you can even severe the tie if you desperately have too by performing an intention ritual to cut your connection).

Here is how you reduce your vibrational connection to someone on your web;

• Try not to think of the person (this is difficult I know), but even a thought sends out an energy single to someone on your web.  
• Do not talk about them, this is even more powerful than thinking.  Talking gives a sound wave which in turn makes the vibration even stronger, which will vibrate rapidly on their strand.
• Unfollow, disconnect and block all social connections.
• Place your energy intention along other lines on your web, making your connection to the person weaker and weaker until eventually the web line is so frail, it eventually breaks and forms another web link with someone else.

If we use the energy web analogy in every aspect of our lives, we can see how we can use the law of attraction to not only bring in the things we want, but to also reduce the amount of things we do not want to manifest, on a more negative vibrational level.

Until next time,

Tanya 

Being a Professional Tarot reader allows me into the world of the anthropologist, observing others in their customs, beliefs values and relationships.  Even in this short time of reading at a professional level (just six years) I have noticed patterns of behaviours based on similar experiences from my clients.

One of those is that misery loves company.  Over time, if someone co-exists along with another individual who is extremely negative in nature, even with the most positive mindset, it can be hard to not feel drawn into that lower vibrational energy. 

I have noticed that on our physical earth level, it is easier for low vibrations to exist and subsequently pull others along with it, a bit like a huge magnetic black hole.

Let’s face it, if you are a naturally optimist and higher vibing person, you may find that negative people drain you and it may be a huge challenge to bring those negative people up to your level, feeling impossible at times.

It can take real work to remain positive, an inner strength that does not come easy for some. 

Some people are addicted to negativity.  They become so used to thinking a certain way that they look for their next fix, by;

• Constantly reading and watching the news, feeding off the misery, sadness, and destruction in the world.  There is a reason why no news is good news.
• Talking about other people.  Gossip in particular is where the negative person likes to reside.  Judgements, comparisons and making assumptions. 
• Complaining, about everything and anything.  Life isn’t fair, this happened, that happened, they did not get what they were entitled too.
• Wallowing in self-pity.  Making the noises of misery but making absolutely no effort to remove oneself from the very place that causes them so much internal grief.
• Choosing to live in the negative energy as a personality type.  In life, hard things happen.  Some allow the hard things to define them, others use it as a steppingstone to help them to grow.
• Staying in one place, as change represents growth, and a negative person will be terrified of change.  The root of their problems is anxiety driven fear, with low self-esteem and almost no motivation to have the self-awareness to change their perspective.   

Just to make it clear, my above description is not talking about someone who has depression or a mental health issue.  It is about someone who chooses to live negatively because of ignorance and closed mindedness. 

If you live with a person who demonstrates the above behaviours, you may eventually begin to join them in the party, it can even be a subconscious thing that you are not aware of. 

This is what I have noticed with some clients, that they have allowed their partners misery to all consume them and have given up on themselves.

It’s a “well if you can’t beat them, join them” type of situation.

After years of being dragged down, it is easier to sit with them and much harder to climb up away from them.

So how do you safeguard yourself from another person’s daily woes, especially if you are married to one or live with one?

You need to do the opposite of each emotion and behaviour to cancel the other one out. 

You must take your power back by;

• Reducing the amount of news you watch, not enough to be ignorant of public affairs but enough so that you are not feeding into it daily.
• Don’t join in the conversation about others.  This can be hard, as some family cultures and generations do this without giving it a second thought.  Put your energy into experiences instead of judging other people’s lives.  Be inspired by others, do not fester in jealousy. 
• Stop complaining. Find the positive in every downturn (in the majority of instances, there is a hidden positive.  If there is not, use the bad experience as a growth lesson)
• Have faith, don’t wallow.  Wallowing attaches you to the idea that nothing will ever work out.  If you feel this way, seek help for your mental health.  The first steps can be a challenge but once you have made the first one, the sense of empowerment alone can lift your spirits.
• Seek positive change and allow growth to happen for you.  Do it alone if the negative person does not want to join in. 
• Don’t wait for someone to change.  The likelihood is that they will not.  But you can, you have the power of self-awareness. 

The most effective thing to do is remove yourself from the persons negative energy.  If that is not an option for you, you must do all you can to lift your own vibration.  I cannot stress enough that part comes from you.  It is your responsibility to shine your own light brightly, don’t let others blow out your flame. 

Until next time,

Tanya

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