Misery Loves Company

Being a Professional Tarot reader allows me into the world of the anthropologist, observing others in their customs, beliefs values and relationships.  Even in this short time of reading at a professional level (just six years) I have noticed patterns of behaviours based on similar experiences from my clients.

One of those is that misery loves company.  Over time, if someone co-exists along with another individual who is extremely negative in nature, even with the most positive mindset, it can be hard to not feel drawn into that lower vibrational energy. 

I have noticed that on our physical earth level, it is easier for low vibrations to exist and subsequently pull others along with it, a bit like a huge magnetic black hole.

Let’s face it, if you are a naturally optimist and higher vibing person, you may find that negative people drain you and it may be a huge challenge to bring those negative people up to your level, feeling impossible at times.

It can take real work to remain positive, an inner strength that does not come easy for some. 

Some people are addicted to negativity.  They become so used to thinking a certain way that they look for their next fix, by;

  • Constantly reading and watching the news, feeding off the misery, sadness, and destruction in the world.  There is a reason why no news is good news.
  • Talking about other people.  Gossip in particular is where the negative person likes to reside.  Judgements, comparisons and making assumptions. 
  • Complaining, about everything and anything.  Life isn’t fair, this happened, that happened, they did not get what they were entitled too.
  • Wallowing in self-pity.  Making the noises of misery but making absolutely no effort to remove oneself from the very place that causes them so much internal grief.
  • Choosing to live in the negative energy as a personality type.  In life, hard things happen.  Some allow the hard things to define them, others use it as a steppingstone to help them to grow.
  • Staying in one place, as change represents growth, and a negative person will be terrified of change.  The root of their problems is anxiety driven fear, with low self-esteem and almost no motivation to have the self-awareness to change their perspective.   

Just to make it clear, my above description is not talking about someone who has depression or a mental health issue.  It is about someone who chooses to live negatively because of ignorance and closed mindedness. 

If you live with a person who demonstrates the above behaviours, you may eventually begin to join them in the party, it can even be a subconscious thing that you are not aware of. 

This is what I have noticed with some clients, that they have allowed their partners misery to all consume them and have given up on themselves.

It’s a “well if you can’t beat them, join them” type of situation.

After years of being dragged down, it is easier to sit with them and much harder to climb up away from them.

So how do you safeguard yourself from another person’s daily woes, especially if you are married to one or live with one?

You need to do the opposite of each emotion and behaviour to cancel the other one out. 

You must take your power back by;

  • Reducing the amount of news you watch, not enough to be ignorant of public affairs but enough so that you are not feeding into it daily.
  • Don’t join in the conversation about others.  This can be hard, as some family cultures and generations do this without giving it a second thought.  Put your energy into experiences instead of judging other people’s lives.  Be inspired by others, do not fester in jealousy. 
  • Stop complaining. Find the positive in every downturn (in the majority of instances, there is a hidden positive.  If there is not, use the bad experience as a growth lesson)
  • Have faith, don’t wallow.  Wallowing attaches you to the idea that nothing will ever work out.  If you feel this way, seek help for your mental health.  The first steps can be a challenge but once you have made the first one, the sense of empowerment alone can lift your spirits.
  • Seek positive change and allow growth to happen for you.  Do it alone if the negative person does not want to join in. 
  • Don’t wait for someone to change.  The likelihood is that they will not.  But you can, you have the power of self-awareness. 

The most effective thing to do is remove yourself from the persons negative energy.  If that is not an option for you, you must do all you can to lift your own vibration.  I cannot stress enough that part comes from you.  It is your responsibility to shine your own light brightly, don’t let others blow out your flame. 

Until next time,


Thanks for reading! If you wish to find out a little more about me, click here

Leave a Reply