A life lived from fear = a life half lived

 

Some of us live our lives from fear based decisions.  Or decisions that never allow us to reach out of the comfort zone and to develop into our true potential.

Have a think about these:

• Have you stayed in the same job, or same position for the last ten to twenty to thirty years?

• Has your financial position ever got better or just stayed the same, or even got worse?

• Do you still watch the same TV shows you watched when you were a teenager? In fact, do you watch more TV then go out and have experiences?

• Has your circle of friends stayed exactly the same, grown, changed or gone completely?

• Do you feel like you have changed much since you were 21?

• Are things getting better and better as you age? Is it something to look forward too or dread?

• What new skill have your learnt over the past few years?

• Do you stop others living their dreams or do you pee on their parade because of your own self limitations?

I haven’t listed the above to make someone feel crap about their lives if they fit into quite a few of those categories, in terms of “staying where they are”.  But sometimes I feel we have to get honest with ourselves.  What stops us from getting off our backsides and making positives changes in our lives?  If you are happy in your comfort zone, then I guess most of this doesn’t apply to you.  But if you know deep down that something maybe lacking, perhaps it actually does.

• Learnt behaviour: fear. Being conditioned by our parents from a very young age to be scared of the world and everything in it.  Don’t get me wrong, a little bit of fear is sensible, it could save your life, but some poor people have to spend years undoing thought patterns and behaviours that have been planted there by innocent parents that thought they were doing the right thing (and some guilty Narcissistic parents too)

• Lacking in motivation and will-power. Maybe this is chemical in the brain, I have no idea, I’m not a clinical psychologist so perhaps there is something that gives one person more drive than the other.

• Lacking in confidence: Newsflash = confidence happens when you are living and growing, the majority of us are not born with it. But if you don’t challenge yourself and try new things you might as well leave it right there at the door!

• Worry what others think. How many of us do this, even subconsciously?  Why the hell are we worried about the opinions of others?  Who the hell are they to put that on us anyway?  Here’s a thought, someone that truly loves you never judges you and actually thinks your awesome for your quirky little ways and the ones that don’t have got some real insecurity crap going on right there.

• I can’t afford / don’t have the money / time / resources to live my dreams: why are you limiting yourself? If you seek from the heart with passion, drive and motivation you can have any life you wish.  Every time you say that last sentence is not true you just burst your own dream.

• Negativity breeds negativity: like attracts like and what we feel now shapes our future tomorrow. This is so true.  If you live your life in a cycle of negative thoughts and actions you will only attract the same things again and again.  I can’t change my job because……I can’t afford to do that because………..I don’t like doing that because…….I’ve never been any good at that because…………what the hell are you here for anyway??

• I don’t deserve it: You deserve the world.  Everyone got born here for a reason and yes there are a lot of us but you are special and unique, there is only one of you after all.  Start by loving the person you are.

What does all of the above have to do with my love for spiritualism and the afterlife?  It has everything to do with it!  Because when I write, I always feel I’m guided by my intuition, or by spirit, or by the other side, or whatever you want to call it!  And here is what I feel about the human journey:

If we are not constantly learning and having experiences (good and bad) – we are not growing.  If we do not push ourselves, even in the most fearful of situations we are never going to know what we could have achieved.

We have to stop trying to control those we love most because of our fear-based feelings.  This is the one that gets to me the most.  Just because you are scared, please don’t push that fear onto the human being that you love the most.  You got to be brave with that side of things too.

Your life is in your hands.  You are fully responsible for your happiness and accountable for your life, that’s no-one else’s job.  If you find yourself in a life that you didn’t think you would have, that you don’t deserve, then it’s high time you did something about that.  Taking responsibility for your life is the one thing that will make things change.  It isn’t your mums fault, the schools fault, the governments fault, your kids fault, your mates fault….they may have shaped you once but the end of the day, you wake up as you and you go to bed as you too.

Here is a book recommendation for you: A Piece Of Cake by Cupcake Brown. This is one of the most inspiring and thought-provoking books I’ve ever read about a girl who had the most unimaginable hardships but turned her whole life around.

So every time you stop yourself from starting that business, starting the hobby, writing the book, going for that job, asking that girl out you have loved for years because you are afraid of rejection….think about your limited timespan here on the life journey and let’s face it, failure happens, but so does accomplishment in equal if not a bigger measuring jugs!

Don’t waste this life journey, because you blink and it’s over.  Start today and change things for the better, and believe me, if you go at this with a positive mind-set, it will happen.

Until next time,

Tanya