I have been born and breed in the same town my whole life. Moving away was something we always talked about doing, but never actually got around to properly “planning” to make it happen.
When I turned forty in lockdown, after spending six months pretty much confined to the house like most people, my husband and I realised that even though we love our home, we needed to make a change.
There was this unspoken feeling of restlessness, and we knew in our hearts that we wanted to move, but not just around the corner, we wanted to make a real change, not too far so we couldn’t still see friends and family, but far enough so we had a whole new place to explore.
Luckily we can both move our jobs with us, so we could be flexible on location. My daughter will be starting secondary school this year, so a perfect time to make the change.
We decided on Ely, a tiny Cathedral City in Cambridgeshire. We are not quite there yet (almost!) – hopefully we will have moved mid to late springtime this year.
The whole process of finding a house and selling ours has been going on since the summer of 2022, it has been incredibly stressful, and we haven’t even done the move yet.
When people say that moving house is in the top four most stressful things you can do in a lifetime, I understand why now. I have realised that it is not the physical moving part that is hard, it is the fear that comes with such a big, life changing decision.
I recently heard someone quote that if you are in limbo, just decide, even if you fear it is the wrong choice, just do SOMETHING to move yourself into a different place, which allows you more options and insight into your current situation.
There is something paradoxical about putting stress of yourself through a life choice that no one is forcing you to make. It is hard to explain that to people, because sometimes you don’t know the full reasons why you are making the decision, you just know you need to move forward somehow.
Even though I’m moving just over an hour away from my hometown, I did feel ripples of shock from some friends and family closest to me when I made the announcement. They couldn’t understand why this is something we want to do.
I have had to keep strong and focussed on the goal ahead, because other people’s doubt can seep into your own insecurities quite easily.
I have woken up countless times in the night with a lot of anxiety about the decision we have made, as once you have gone, it is hard to come back. But amongst all the fear and doubt is a deep knowing that to stay would be more terrifying then to make the leap.
Change is inevitably hard. It throws out your sense of safe routine and security, familiarity, and ease. You can only give it time and strength to see where it will take you.
Some people have looked at my decision through their own viewpoint and placed their own individual fear on my decision, forgetting that we are different people and therefore my challenges will not be what their challenge may be if they were in my shoes.
I have realised in my life that to stay still can feel very safe indeed. However, I understand that it is only temporary relief. If we just keep standing still, eventually the Earth will turn one revolution of the sun and bringing with it lots of changes that are out of our control anyway.
If we can’t handle the change within our control, how will we deal with the stuff that happens to us that we didn’t ask for?
To me, life is about ebbs and flows, good experiences, and negative ones. It is about learning, seeking, and growing.
So, in 2023 we are taking the leap, the challenge has already proven one of the hardest things I have had to face, and we haven’t even gone yet. But that little voice inside my head, that has never failed me in past life choices, has reassured me that all will be well.
Until next time,
Tanya
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