You’ve Changed – The Four Of Cups

Love tarot readings are probably the most popular life categories that I read about.  As complicated as feelings can be, I do find love readings the most interesting!

A common theme I have come to notice with relationship problems are when a couple who have spent many years together, begin to flow in a different direction.  In fact, more to the point, one stands still whilst the other one wants to continue taking new opportunities and growing within their life experiences.

In life, as a couple, we often have different values that we place on our relationship.  Giving to service is one that normally takes precedence, the going to work, earning money, keeping house, feeding the family, raising the kids etc, it generally goes before acts of love and affection.

I have found that some people can be so habitual with their routine whilst being in the “in service” energy, that they lose a part of themselves in the process.  Those heady days of lust and excitement are like a distant fleeting memory.  

Personality types can play a huge part in how much work is put into a long-term relationship.  Not everyone has that magic spark that keeps them excited every day.  Life gets in the way, chores, responsibilities, and problems mount up and people become too exhausted to put any effort into the relationship anymore when it comes to romance and excitement.

But just because life gets in the way, does that make it fair that one person should just give up on putting in effort into the relationship?  After all, life happens, it’s how we deal with it that is a different story.

The four of cups in our tarot pack details a bored person sitting under a tree, being offered a very enticing cup of something delicious but refusing to even acknowledge its exitance.  

I see this card time and time again when someone has something that they are taking for granted.  Namely a spouse that wants to live in the moment, have more fun, do more things, and is up for all of this, yet the person sitting under the tree cannot be bothered to reciprocate.

This is sad.  And what do you do if this happens to you?  If you have tried tirelessly to motivate your partner but they just will not budge or match your efforts?

I believe the first thing to do is assess exactly what you have done to make a difference in terms of trying to make things better.  How can your own behaviour influence certain outcomes?  Ask some questions about your partner.  Are they depressed?  Is this a temporary life circumstance that hopefully they can come out of soon?  Or has this always been them….is it a cycle of behaviour that will not be broken?

If you find that you care a lot about this situation and it is making you unhappy, then you need to fix it.  But, if your partner is unwilling then that is a very big message from the Universe.  The only person who can make the change is you.

You either accept that this person will not change, and you must find your own path to happiness fulfilment.  Does this mean ending a relationship?  Yes, possibly it does.  But that comes with its own navigation.  I cannot tell you how many people I’ve read for that are entirely unhappy but have put their own barriers up to avoid ending the relationship, such as family ties or financial commitments.  But in my opinion, these are not barriers, they are obstacles, which can be jumped over in time if you have the strength, motivation and will power to succeed.

Some people are very adept and shutting off the little voice inside them, telling them how unhappy they are.  In fact, they can do that for a lifetime.  But there are others who walk amongst us that do listen to that little voice.

They trust the voice and they reason with it.  They say, ok, I acknowledge I am not happy in this relationship, so what must change?  They then proceed to do whatever they can to make the change.  This often means shaking their partner, making them see what is happening.  If the partner has the emotional intelligence to grow with them, they begin to change too.  But if they do not, it is time for something radical to happen.

I have seen the person that won’t ignore the voice rise from the ashes of despair and plan.  They concentrate on themselves, their work, they raise their own vibration, so they are not part of their own problem anymore.  They separate themselves in a way that they can see a way forward.

What generally follows is that because their vibration is raising, the partner who will not change sinks lower into their own vibration.  Two different roads begin to build in front of them.

This is generally when a relationship ends, it has become inevitable in a way but only because one person would not stand to live a miserable life because their partner would not help to save it.

Life is about change and becoming exactly who we are supposed to be….sadly it means that not all will want to come along with us on the journey, but that is ok.  If we trust in the Universe implicitly, it means we are exactly where we are supposed to be, and exactly who we are supposed to be with.

Until next time,


Leave a Reply