Soul Mate or Twin Flame?

To continue on with our love theme for the month, this week I want to talk about two labels that get thrown around a lot in love tarot readings; Soul Mates and Twin Flames.

There are countless explanations on the internet as to what exactly these are and the differences between the two.  But as always, I would much rather provide my own definition and how they contrast based on my spiritual knowledge of the subject.

Before we go into the differences, what needs to be addressed is how before we can truly love anyone else, we must focus on loving ourselves unconditionally.  I believe that the only time we can find the right person for us, is when we begin to live authentically and to take ownership of ourselves in terms of our choices, behaviours, and values as a person.

I believe we pull in a soul mate and a twin flame depending on where we are within our own healing journey, and entirely what vibration we are sitting on.

Soul Mates

For me, a soul mate is a caretaker on our human journey (the caretaking works both ways).  They are the ones that will show up to us in a way that makes us feel safe and secure, we know they have our back no matter what happens.  

There would be an instant connection of being “at home” with this person as soon as we meet.  We will like the same things, be on the same wavelength, so much so, we will certainly want to build a life with them.

There will be an unspoken chemistry that we were almost made for each other.  That our souls belong to each other, because we get each other like no other person does.

There is a solid, safe structure to this mate like no other.

This doesn’t always mean that we will not run into problems though.  I believe soul mates can drift apart (but normally always drift back again!).  They are on an individual journey as well as one that includes each other.  There will be a push and a pull because this is two difference souls that have been brought together for two different life experiences but who need to learn a lesson from each other.

Some would say it is a karmic connection of the meeting of two souls.

One person may need stability and their soul mate will provide it.  The other may need love and total affection, and the other person will provide it.  But – this may highlight some differences within each of them.  They may need something the other one cannot give, but whatever happens, they just cannot live without each other.

Twin Flame

In my opinion, a twin flame is the same soul as us, but we have been split into two for two unique life experiences, and sometimes we collide during this lifetime.  You will know if you have collided with your twin flame.

As opposed to a soul mate, who will have some subtle differences and ways of thinking from you (which in turn allows you to learn things from them) a twin flame will allow you to learn things about yourself because they will trigger you.

A twin flame is half of your soul.  You will see yourself in this person.  Like a mirror image.  You will have the same outlook, likes, dislikes, emotional make-up, you may even look like them.  They are so much like you that you feel almost an instant pull toward them which you cannot put into words.

They will not be as solid as a soul mate. They may let you down, or you let them down, you will clash yet compliment all at the same time.

I believe a twin flame begins with an insatiable lust and ends in a ball of flames.  Because sooner or later, the twin flame will lead us to our shadow side.  Unlike a soul mate, who is rock steady and predictable, a twin flame will throw you up into a complete whirlwind of possibilities and uncertainties.  

A twin flame will turn the head of the person who is normally faithful and rock steady in their loyalty when it comes to their partner.  It will be akin to being hit by a brick, from out of no-where, like suddenly you remember who you are after you had forgotten during this lifetime.  Because after all, you are two halves of the same soul.

But this can be dangerous, especially if you have already found your soul mate.  How conflicting could it be for someone to be presented with a soul mate and twin flame connection?  I have seen this many times during my love and relationship readings.

Is it healthy to pursue such an insatiable hunger when it comes to your twin flame?  Single or in a relationship?  Only you can answer that, because this is your journey, not mine.  I give this advise time and time again.

It is up to you to reach out, connect and join with whoever you feel gets you on a level like no one else does.  Sadly that may mean turning your back on a soul mate or twin flame, for this human journey, but doesn’t mean that one day, in another life, another dimension, another universe….that you will finally join again.

Until next time,


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