Tag: anxiety

Showing Up To Your Life

Tanya

How do you pull yourself back to being grounded, grateful and with a feeling of inner peace when all your mind wants to do is self-destruct and rip apart every layer of you? 

Even the most “together” of people may shock you with the fact they are dealing with many internal conflicts, anxieties, and jumbles of feeling that they are not sure where to place.

Sometimes I feel the whole point of being a human being is to be programmed so that we are starkly aware of the negative side of “life” to give us the nudge to find the joy in as much as we can.

One thing is for sure.  It is not easy being human. 

Sometimes I must remind myself to get back to “me” by doing certain things that I know will help.  I often find that I am looking for something that I know is missing but I have no idea what that thing is.  Does that sound familiar to you? 

The more I read tarot for people the more I understand that we are all looking for this thing.  But how do we settle ourselves back to “us” when we are not even sure what we are looking for?

I know what works for me.

I must busy myself in a way that is not stressed or rushed, but productive and resourceful.  To set goals, to stick to a plan, to focus. 

It’s to smile and connect with people whenever I can, even when I do not feel like it.  To remember that it is ok to say no.

I once read a book about a woman who pulled herself out of a cycle of poverty, disillusionment, and extreme toxic behaviour.

She got up every day with a plan.  With a focus, a routine.  She made herself busy, so that she made “energy” with the things and intentions that she focused on.

She spoke to literally everyone she met.  The postman, the bank cashier, the teacher, the stranger in the street.  She connected her energy with every human being that encountered her that day, even though she didn’t want to, she did.  She was alone inside, so she made it a point to make these connections. 

She did this every day and not only that, but she also wrote about her day. She journaled everything.  Her thoughts and feelings, the why’s, why nots, questions, triggering thoughts and complex feelings.  It all went down on paper before she fell asleep.

She soon found that by showing up to “do things”, to “connect” to “feel, express and create” shifted her energy in a way that almost moved the walls of her life around her to open out onto a vast landscape of new possibility.

By all these connections, by having a plan, by putting words on paper, she was manifesting, and her energy was changing.

  She blogged about her life, her problems, her feelings.  Someone of importance read her blogs and then they turned them into a story of her journey.  She has sold millions of books….it changed her life overnight.  But the work was done months and months leading up to the very moment that she sold her first book.

Instead of being in the mercy of her “life”, she decided to show up to it and move from passenger to driver.  She used the energy around her to either wallow in self-pity or to dig deeper than she had ever gone before and start making small changes that eventually pulled her in a completely different direction.

So, when you feel like your life is pulling you in which way what, like you have no anchor and stability even though on paper, your life doesn’t appear to be wobbly, you must try to navigate your emotions as much as possible.  Give yourself a helping hand by focussing, planning, connecting, building, creating, smiling, singing, appreciating, letting go, giving up, sticking too, accepting, refusing, inviting and being. 

I follow a lady called Alana Fairchild and she puts it so well here;

“If you want a life of passionate purpose, start with knowing, accepting and loving who you are as a person.  As you love, respect and nurture your authentic self, it will help you to understand what is best to cast aside.

You have the power to choose how you want to feel and what you want to express in each moment, no matter what is going on around you”.

Until next time,

Tanya

So I Just Went For It

Tanya

Recently I met a lovely new client who said something to me which rang a little bell in my heart.  She told me that sometimes, she has this inner feeling of knowing, like an energetic feeling, that something big is coming her way, like something good, derived from happiness, like, her purpose.  I understood exactly what she meant; this is the first time I’ve heard someone else say out loud what I often feel myself.

However, it’s been hard to hear it lately, as sometimes, like everyone else, I can have days when I feel low and not really sure why.  I don’t think this weather is helping (that makes me sound like my nan) but seriously, it’s been overcast since about November, hasn’t it?  Anyway, I’ve had to dig deep for the motivation that normally just spills out of me with ease, I’ve had a real brain fog lately, sometimes even worrying that the best of my ambition has gone like my 30s are about to go behind me………can you believe that negativity?  That is not my normal vibe.  I want to stress that as soon as that creeps in, I deal with it, like, I’m not having that, at all.

So, when this happens, I go back to basics with my mental health, everything I teach my students on my Law Of Attraction Course: Routine, Self-Care, De-Stress, Back To Nature.  Go walking (I notice a direct link to my mental health and how often I get out walking with my dog Seb), meditation (I fell asleep to the Shipping Forecast the other night, it was lush!), exercise, good diet, loads of water, going within myself to find inner peace, less worry and more “home” time.  What do I mean by home time?  Home is the place inside you that is safe, yours and is where you are connected to the source of all that is, it’s your energetic life force that tells you that you have absolutely nothing at all to fear.  Have you found yours yet?

After months of preparing to launch my Law Of Attraction Course online, it was ready to launch today (Monday 24th Feb).  I think this has contributed to my feeling of unease.  I’m about to embark on something that I’ve been working toward and thinking about for ages.  Last year I imagined what it would be like to launch my LOA course, online, to a wider audience.  I had no idea how to even start, but using the power of manifestation, I managed to get all the knowledge, resources and contacts I needed, and low and behold, I manifested it.  Now comes the fear bit, the bit where I wonder if it will do well.  I always say this, it’s not about the money for me, it’s about the impact and the connection to fellow humans, that’s what I get excited about, but then I am fearful if it won’t be received with love, I had a few hurtful comments when I initially sent an advert out (not from my page likers or local community should I add), this did scare me a bit, but then I must remember that being scared is a block to reaching out for your dreams, fear must be overcome and moved to the side.

What am I trying to say with this week’s post?  I guess it is, going back to that feeling in the first paragraph.  Once we have found our life’s purpose, it puts us in a flow of energy and gives us a feeling unlike any other we have ever experienced.  It’s personal, it’s not about anyone else.  It’s like we are fulfilling a subconscious dream that we came here to do, we recognize it like an old friend, and hand in hand we navigate a path together, meeting new people along the way, having incredible experiences at each crossroads, letting our gut take us there and nodding in agreement because we know it’s the right way, the right direction.

People always say to me that they don’t know what their purpose is.  I can’t answer that for people, it’s something you must find within yourself.  My purpose is connecting to the spirit world, proving life after death exists and most of all, helping others of this life journey with grief, worry, and pain.  I know I am lucky that I found my purpose, but all I did was listen to my inner voice.  What is yours telling you?

Once you find it, listen, understand it and let it guide you.  Then, just go for it, please just go for it!

Until next time

Tanya

 

If you are interested in learning about my Positive Law Of Attraction Courses, please click on this link. Thanks!

Health Anxiety

Tanya

 

Anxiety is a pretty awful thing to go through.  Some people throw the word around quite casually, they are a bit anxious about something and think they have anxiety.  I don’t want to take away the seriousness of their worries but actually having anxiety as a mental health condition is a different thing entirely. It can be deliberating, can wreak havoc with the individuals and their families lives and can take years to mentally overcome.

There are many different types of anxiety and as I am not a trained psychologist I’m going to do what I do best and that is talk about my own anxiety and what that feels like and suggestions I can put forward that may help you if you are in the same boat.

Firstly, why do we get anxiety?  I believe that we have a predisposition for it in our genes, or a bit of a personality trait that means that we have to be in control, all the time. The control thing is massive when it comes to anxiety because anxiety is another word for worry.

I also feel that we would have learned some behaviour from a parent that may or may not have realised that they are worry heads.  They may have wrapped us up in cotton wall because of their own self restricting fears.  Growing up there may have been one or both parents that are negative in nature and would tend to “catastrophise” things with no logical rationale behind it.

Anxiety can lay dormant for years and come out after a traumatic or life-changing event.  It can also manifest into different mental health conditions like depression and OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder – which I will blog about another time). For today’s’ post I want to focus on my own personal favourite topic of anxiety: health anxiety.  Honestly, I don’t think it was a thing until Google was invented (jokes).  I also don’t think it’s the same as Munchausen Syndrome (a factitious disorder in which a person deliberately acts as he or she is physically or mentally unwell when he or she is not really sick).  I do think however that it bubbles on the surface of hypochondria if anything.

Health anxiety is when you worry constantly at not only your own state of health but of those around you that you care deeply about.  Slight pain in the forehead?  That will be the onset of a stroke.  A left flank twinge?  Cervical cancer for sure.  The numbness in your right foot will be the stomach tumour that is pressing on your spinal column, absolutely nothing to do with the fact that you have worn slider sandals for the past three months due to the unprecedented heatwave……..ok I’m making this funny but if you have this disorder, it’s pretty damn awful.  You will utterly convince yourself that you are dying, all the time.

You will have a compulsion to symptom check every little ailment you “feel”. You will seek out statistics of cancer rates and risk factors and because your anxiety is a sneaky little bugger, it will deliberately on purpose home in on all the things you are experiencing. The compulsion is to actually find evidence that you do in fact have a life-threatening illness.  This is all irrational and completely fear driven.  Of course, it is.  But try telling that to your anxiety.

Stories in the newspaper, of particularly young people dying of cancer (cancer is a massive theme for the person with this type of anxiety), will be what you are drawn too.  “If it happened to them, then it could very well happen to me……..there is so much cancer these days, why is that…………its like cancer is out to get me, my family and friends………”

So, as you may have worked out from the above, I have experienced this type of anxiety first hand.  However, I haven’t got it as bad as some.  When I feel good, I feel on top of the world, with no worries what so ever.  But as soon as I get an odd symptom…it starts to creep in.

I have had a recent “health scare”.  After months (years!) of awful heavy and painful periods, I decided to go and get an internal scan done.

At the scan, the lovely female sonographer probably didn’t mean to scare the crap out of me, but she did.  To be honest, when you are the health worrier, you will look for every little sign to see if a health professional is lying to you and in fact covering up the fact they have just discovered you actually do have a terminal illness.

“Oh!  Endometriosis, can see it straight away” she said as she peered at the scan screen that was pointing toward her and not me (what’s she trying to hide?).  Oh my days….I’ve just been diagnosed with Endometriosis!!  From a scan…….ok, not life-threatening, will also explain why I have felt like I want to die each and every month……..wait is there more?

“Oh!!  I see two growths”…….wait “growth??” OK – real legitimate worry time about to commence……….

“These are called Polyps.  They are quite common (thank the lord) and are tissue growths in the uterine wall (stop saying growths!) and you need them out as one is growing, it’s very large (large growth, growing – wtf???) you need an operation”.

Jeeze.  Let’s fast forward to now – the day I write this blog.  It’s about ten days since my scan.  My consultant appointment with the Gynea is this evening and the fact that (thank the lord twice) I have private medical insurance, I reckon this operation will be done and dusted by May (here’s praying).  This is the good news, they have identified my problem.  The bad news is my anxiety has skyrocketed.

Remember, that I am a Holistic Therapist who helps others deal with stress, depression, anxiety…..I promote the law of attraction and the positive mental attitude required to hit difficult times in life, head on.

But when you start looking internally at your own life, at those that love and depend on you and the fact that you may have a very real, potentially very serious health condition, it changes everything in an instant for you. All those years I’ve spent worrying about having cancer and the awful truth is, I don’t know if I have it or not. Am I over-reacting?  Some women with uterine polyps have them removed and biopsied to find out that they have cancer.  This is rare. But it does happen.

The difference between me and someone without health anxiety is this:

The person without this anxiety will be rational.  They will take what the sonographer said as the truth and not think that actually, she lied to them and really she saw cancer but didn’t want to worry them.

They will not think that every phone call from the scan until the consultant appointment is the gynaecologist herself, calling to get them in “URGENTLY” as it appears they have cancer and need a lifesaving operation within hours.

They will not start thinking about the future with them not in it and how that will affect the lives of those they hold dearest……a thought that is too painful to put into words.

Of course they will be concerned, that goes without saying.  But they will be rational and objective, not irrational and subjective.  They would also say, well even in the very unlikely event that I have cancer, it doesn’t mean I am dead, it just means I need a different course of treatment….and a different perspective.

See, how did we get from uterine polyps to cancer in one blog post?  No one has even mentioned this word to me……but I Dr Googled my symptoms……it turns out that endometriosis and polyps have the same symptoms as womb cancer.

In my heart of heart, do I think I have it?  No.  But I do think this is a big old lesson for me, in terms of putting my health anxiety to bed, for good!  Yes, it is. Here is why.  For the first seven days of the ten day wait period between scan and consultant, I kept crying and totally freaking out.  This is the most I’ve worried in a very long time.  But then, during a Reiki treatment, I heard a voice in my head. I felt like it was Blue, my guide. This is what he said:

“You are absolutely fine.  You don’t have cancer, you know that.  You will KNOW when your time has reached its end on this life journey.  But, just because you have these abilities, the deep sense of intuition that not every person has, that doesn’t mean that you get off Scott free…..you will have many ups and downs that you need to learn and grow from….this is one of those down times but we are going to manage it and move past it”.

Since this moment I have felt so much better, even today, a few hours before my appointment.  It’s like someone is standing behind me, they have got my back and I feel it too.

I’m hoping this whole experience will put to bed my worries, as there is no point.  What is important is now, today, right this second, anything before that is just our imagination.

But what if health anxiety affects you?  Well, like with any type of anxiety, I want you to know that I feel your pain – I really really do.  There are ways to manage it though:

  • Write stuff down, all about what you are worried about. In fact write two columns, one with your irrational fears and the other one with the more logical rational thinking.   Anxiety and stress cause symptoms, headaches and stomach ache. So that is what the problem is more likely to be!
  • Keep busy, focussed and fulfilled. This will help you immensely.
  • Relax and manage your thoughts with techniques such as exercise, mindful meditation and doing something creative.
  • Talk to people to unload your worries but try not to seek constant reassurance, be your own therapist.
  • If you are undergoing tests for a legitimate health issue, DO NOT search on Google, especially on forums. You are not the same as the people on the forums.  Your body and condition are unique to you.
  • Speak to your GP or look on the Mind website if you do feel you need external support: https://www.mind.org.uk

Until next time,

Tanya